life's lessons

MCP 2012: January

2012-01-30T19:52:00.002-05:00

Month 1: Resolution

This kid is not the best skier out there, by a long shot. But he's out there, and he's got more resolve than most of his competitors.

I couldn't be prouder of him.

{this TMI moment}

2012-01-28T23:22:00.001-05:00

Sorry... but this really is the image of the week. Thank heavens for medical technology; without modern radiology and laproscopy, I would be in lots more pain.

good days and bad

2012-01-22T21:30:00.002-05:00

Joe Paterno passed away today. Normally I don't get to involved with football, but this one has been on my mind all day. He had cancer, and some complications from treatment, but how much did the events of last fall impact his ability to recover? Had this scandal not been discovered, would he have had more energy to tackle the disease within? It is possible that months of stress and public embarrassment wore down his immune system to the point that, at age 85, he just didn't have it in him to fight any more. It is also possible that nothing in the outside world could have changed the direction of his disease-- as we all know too well, the Big C does not play favorites. This is something that probably won't be covered by the 24 hour news cycle.... but I wonder, nonetheless.

We all know the story: Paterno held his players to a high standard of ethics, academics, and athleticism. And yet, he worked side by side with an alleged child molester for years, and when someone told him they had witnessed the abuse in action, he forwarded the info... but not to the police. And that decision, sadly, will be a huge part of his legacy.

It reminds me again of the story I've heard told about Bob Kerrey. As a young man he was a Navy SEAL serving in Vietnam, and he not surprisingly regrets some of the choices he made. He supposedly said a man is not judged by his worst day but by his best, or something to that effect.

It is not that simple; nothing important ever is. Paterno is in no way implicated in being involved in any of the abuse. His assistant coach Sandusky is reported to have been molesting boys he met through the charitable foundation he created to help needy children-- if it's possible to be even more evil than someone who leaves a child with scars it is someone who creates a public front of doing good things for the very kids he's scarring. By all accounts, JoePa was disgusted with Sandusky... but also with himself for allowing it to continue. And yet, Paterno ad his wife donated millions of dollars to Penn State and helped hundreds of his athletes become better people. The math overwhelmingly points to his ethical reputation... and yet, that one act of silence tips the scales pretty far.

We all have made-- and will make-- decisions of which we are not proud. I hope we learn from them and are supported by those around us as we try to move forward with our lives. Some actions are easier to forgive, and some very hard to forget. The sad truth is there is no concrete right or wrong answer to many of these dilemmas. My hope is that my reputation buys me some benefit of the doubt, and that I can look myself in the mirror at the end of the day.

Out here in the cheap seats, I have an easy time forgiving Kerrey's situation; war is hell, and what happens there cannot be judged in the same light as if it happened at home. Letting an issue get swept under the rug in your own backyard that potentially exposed multiple children to 9 more years of abuse... well, I'm having a harder time forgetting about his worst day. Luckily for me, it is not my place to judge. In the end, we are all just human, and we all make mistakes. I hope you were at peace before you left this earth, and that peace follows you to wherever you are now... and that those of us left behind can learn from your life.

{this moment}

2012-01-22T16:11:00.002-05:00

behavioral balance

2012-01-19T20:57:00.001-05:00

Today was another of my behavioral training days. I took on a leadership role in my school to tackle this initiative. My reasons were fairly selfish to start-- I wanted to make the case that I was a part of my main building, not just a stand alone offshoot, and I didn't want to listen to anyone else lead us through this quagmire.

Since then, I've come to realize I need to start a support group. "Hi, my name is rach, and I believe in PBIS..." For those of you not in the know, Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports are a way to focus on identifying the positive behavior you want all your clientele to perform, and then teaching said behavior to everyone, and then and only then do you figure out which people can't be successful with said task and figure out how to change their experience.

As a parent, I've been opposed to this approach in our schools. "I don't want my kids getting a token for doing what they know is right". Since we're being honest here, this is still true. I'm very aware that behavioral programs that focus on the good kids doing what they should be doing can often turn those kids into targets of resentment. It's hard enough being the children of two teachers... but being 'perfect' children? Nope, I didn't want that on my conscious.

But as a teacher, and a colleague, I focus on positive behavior all the time. Thank you for checking in on a kid. Gold star for you! I love my job. You guys make me smile every time. I have pictures of kids at prom, of my grandstudents, of each of my graduates in my room. I mail home a good news card to at least one kid every week, highlighting something specific that they did right. I hang up every article I find of any of my students from the newspaper. I send a newsletter to any kid who has ever been in my classroom, no matter if it was for 4 hours or 4 years. Yea, I address the things they need to work on, but I also celebrate their successes. Constantly.

So how do I balance the two parts? Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess I keep my eye on the prize, which is to realize that while my kids are great kids, they still can learn more. And as a teacher, I can always do more to help my sunshines be better prepared for the social structure of the real world. It's always about learning... and about giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

{moments}

2012-01-16T18:54:00.000-05:00

I forgot to post a {moment} last week. Probably because I was being kicked around by a nasty cold.

These made it onto FB, but these were some pretty good moments, so they bear repeating.

resolutions and reflections

2012-01-05T20:58:00.000-05:00

I have not been writing. Like, at all. Which is not cool. How am I going to become a writer if I don't write! What I struggle with is writing in such a way that it can be helpful for me and not harmful to those about whom I'd be writing. So most of the time, it's easier to stare at a blank "new post" page and leave it at that. I need a new plan, because not writing is not the answer either.

That being said, I need to write more. I want to start my book this year. No, I need to start it this year.

When I was in high school, my pastor wrote a sermon at the start of Lent suggesting that instead of giving up bad habits, we take up good ones. Why give up chocolate when you could start doing one nice thing for someone? This has always resonated with me, and I'm taking it as my theme of resolutions this year. In fact, the only resolution I've ever kept is the one to drink my 32 oz nalgene bottle of water daily. This year, I want to be more forgiving of all people I encounter. None of us are perfect-- not even me, as much as I pretend otherwise-- and we all deserve to be treated well, no matter what baggage we bring to the table.

I had a good year last year, and I hope to say the same 360 days from now.

{those moments}

2012-01-05T19:48:00.000-05:00

{this moment}

2011-12-25T18:40:00.001-05:00

{last week's moment}

2011-12-23T08:55:00.000-05:00

This one is for the sibs...

This holiday, I've given myself permission to do what I can today and save the rest for tomorrow. Sadly, my {moment} was one of those things. Better late than never, no?

{this moment}

2011-12-11T21:31:00.001-05:00

{We did not suggest the gender breakdown-- it just happened that he was interested in getting the tree in the stand, and she wanted to decorate it.}

{this moment}

2011-12-06T07:21:00.001-05:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-11-27T19:18:00.001-05:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

right kind of crazy

2011-11-23T09:17:00.001-05:00

During our Sunshine Thanksgiving yesterday, one of the kids wondered aloud about what we'd be doing if we weren't teaching them. My colleague laughed back and said "Are you calling us crazy?"... but truthfully, I know I am. You have to be a little bit insane to put yourself in a position where you watch people you care about make mistakes and bad choices repeatedly-- and keep coming back for more.

For me, this job is a way of life. I act no differently at school than I do at home or in other public venues; there are no pretenses, no games. I think if you looked up 'tough love' in the dictionary, you'd see me smiling back at you. I expect a lot of these guys, and probably more than anyone has expected of them in years. But when they don't live up to the expectations, we address it and move on. No grudges. I react no differently to a student skipping my class than I would to Boy or Girly not doing what I'd asked them to do: there are consequences to that action (or inaction) but you are mine, and I claim you as mine, always.The consequences they are used to, and really know how to use them to their advantage (I'm sure I've told you about suspensions increasing magically in November... and how I brought a stop to that practice). What they are not used to, and what gets me labeled as a crazy woman by them, is the second piece-- no matter what you do, I claim you as mine. Whether you're making me proud or breaking my heart, you are always a Sunshine.

At Sunshine Thanksgiving, we go around the room and state for what we are thankful. There is nothing quite like hearing a room full of teenagers say they are thankful for the people that help them to warm your heart. I am so thankful for them; as hokey as it sounds, they make my life a better place to be. They make me laugh; they make me cry; they make me proud. Yes, they also make me crazy, but let's be honest here: I already was.

tomorrow is another day...

2011-11-18T22:00:00.001-05:00

I haven't reflected recently; I've thought a lot about what's going on, but I need to get better about writing too, because that is often where the magic happens for me.

I'm involved in a year long training that takes me out of my classroom once a month. I almost didn't participate because getting a sub is not fun on a good day, and the idea of a regular planned absence sent me into panic attacks. But then I realized this training would be useful to our classroom, as well as helping to cement our relationship in the mainstream building. Yesterday was my second planned absence this month because of this training... and it really didn't go so well. To clarify: my day was fine. Theirs... not so much.

I'll spare you the details, but needless to say the morning did not look like I thought it would when I left on Wednesday. We spent the morning talking about how this program needs to be able to function without me. Who knows what could happen... I could get sick, need surgery, have parents who need care... we're at the point where I need to let go of some control, and they need to keep going as if I were there, even when I'm not.

This is not going to be easy. For any of us. I have a tiny little bit of a Type A personality (ok, maybe a tad more than that) so letting go is a challenge. And the Sunnies aren't too keen on me letting go either: I heard a couple of times today "none of this would have happened if you were here yesterday". Which is true, sort of... but it's time to change that reality. And we still had other stuff happen today that DID happen while I was RIGHT THERE. I may be a calming influence, but my magic wand has never worked perfectly.

So what do I take away from this? We've come pretty far, but we're not there yet. And we probably never will be... but that doesn't mean we stop trying. Or trusting. Because when I stop trying and trusting... it's time to find a new job, and I'm not ready to do that yet.

{this moment}

2011-11-14T20:47:00.001-05:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-10-30T11:59:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-10-25T21:03:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

in memory of DR

2011-10-23T21:48:00.000-04:00

I've spent the week trying to write this post, and I end up staring at my screen. Our high school lost a student this week, a 16 year old junior, as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash. It was one of the worst weeks of my teaching career; and yet, when I try to explain why I live and work where I do, this is the week I will reference.

I witnessed hundreds of kindnesses this week, between students, teachers, colleagues, friends, and family. Our high school has under 350 students, and a staff of 50 or so. To say we all know each other's business is an understatement. Often times that can be frustrating, but this week... I can't express the comfort that brought. We were free to be ourselves, to grieve as we needed, no matter who was around. We'd check on each other, and people were thankful that someone was there catching us in our off moments, as they'd done for someone else before. It sounds surreal, and it was. I wouldn't have believed it either if I didn't live it.

This place has been described as magical before, and it truly is. You don't have to love your neighbor, but there is a definite sense that we are all in this together. Sadly, we have some practice putting together benefits and memorials... people rally around those in need, no matter the cause. Knowing that I am not alone out here, trying to safely get my children, friends, and family from point A to point B, is more comforting than anything.

We don't know what tomorrow will bring. If this week has shown me anything, it's that we can weather whatever it is as long as we're not doing it alone. Tell people what they mean to you, and tell them often. Be nice to each other-- on good days and especially on bad ones. Take the time to smell the roses, but also to act on your dreams. It might not always be pretty, and it might not be the way we'd have scripted it, but we can get through anything together.

There's No Place Like It

2011-10-22T09:55:00.000-04:00

It was one doozy of a week. I'm feeling thankful and blessed to have a home that is all these things and more....

http://thisisindexed.com/2011/10/theres-no-place-like-it/

{this moment}

2011-10-17T21:39:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

Which words should we live by?

2011-10-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

My colleague had a sub on Friday, the same one who has subbed for us in the past. "It has a different feel in here this year. Calmer, more focused. Just thought you should know". He's right: we've found our groove, at least for the moment. Each year has it's own issues, which is part of what I love about my job-- it keeps me on my toes.

My struggle this year is to balance the need of teaching the Sunnies to conform while helping them keep the parts of themselves that make them unique. When do you 'go along to get along' and when do you 'march to your own beat'? Those answers can be different on any given day-- or any given moment. I hate to watch them beat their heads against the wall again and again, knowing it's going to end badly; yet, I am proud of them for standing their ground and believing in themselves, no matter what else anyone says.

Maybe I should start playing the Gambler:
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away, and know when to run...

{this moment}

2011-10-10T21:26:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this proud moment}

2011-10-02T19:32:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

(I know, I know, no words... but I am really proud of this guy. His skills have improved, he's a team player all the way, and he's consciously being more positive on the field. I love watching you play!)

tough love

2011-10-02T19:10:00.000-04:00

Alternate title: the honeymoon is over.

Back to school is a time of goals, spoken and unspoken. I can tell that quite a few sunshines set a few for themselves this fall, even if they didn't jump up and down telling me. Some of them are meeting with some success... but some are very much not.

You know how this goes-- you make your New Year's Resolutions every January, and by Groundhog Day, they're out the window. It is hard to change habits. And when you want to change something that you really enjoy doing (like eating dessert or drinking soda or hitting the snooze button) it's really, really hard. You need help, support, and someone to help hold you accountable. In our BtS resolutions, I get to be that person.

One of the things I think I'm pretty good at is separating the sunny from the decision. We all make bad choices, but that does not mean we're bad people, and it's no different for kids. When one of them skips school, for example, and is seen at the homecoming parade, I don't take it personally. But I do stop the van, roll down the window, and call him on it. It's not because I want to make anyone feel bad, but because I want them to know that I want them at school. I want them to learn from this and to make a different choice the next time. I want them to believe that I care, and that my actions match my words. Come to school so I can help you graduate-- and I'm not even kidding when I say I want you here.

There are a few of them teetering on this long term gain/short term gratification fence, for different reasons. The good news is I think they know I really do want them around. I think they also believe that I hold them to a high standard of behavior because I not only believe that they can achieve it, but also because it's what is best for them long term. And I hope they also know that if they decide they just can't do it right now, that they'll still be a sunshine, and I'll still look out for them just as much as if they were in my classroom. I guess I'm sort of like the Hotel California: you can check in any time you'd like, but you can never really leave :)

{this moment}

2011-09-25T21:02:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

finding Common Ground

2011-09-25T20:53:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big fan of field trips. Between the organizing and the fear of losing a child, I'd always rather just stay home. But, I also know trips have value, and so I put on my big girl pants and deal. (Knowing that it's always worth it in the end helps too.)

Friday's trip was no different. I have some paperwork stuff to deal with on Monday (mostly related to attendance) but once again I'm glad we went. The kids spent an hour volunteering-- they were parking cars-- and it's always wonderful watching them outside a classroom. A couple of them took some attitude from some frustrated drivers; I told them to remember how it felt to be on the receiving end the next time they were on the giving end. But they kept their cool, and I think enjoyed the day.

My hope is our common experience helps form a stronger sense of "us"-- or at least "us" as it exists during this school year. It's human nature to divide ourselves into groups of us and them: part of what I try to do is expand their definitions of who belongs with us. My students aren't all friends with each other, and they don't have to be, but they do have to coexist. Days like last Friday help make it work for us.

{this moment}

2011-09-19T21:07:00.002-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

settling in

2011-09-16T23:51:00.001-04:00

We're into our third week of school, although it's only our first full week. I have not been good about blogging, which is probably more troublesome for me than for my Dear Readers. Part of what is so wonderful about blogging is it gives me a chance to think and reflect on my own and yet get feedback from people I trust. So as we start the new year (this is the 'real' one for many of us-- January is just for practice), I am going to strive for one reflective post per weekend.

This week, like most of my weeks, had it's highs and lows. We've settled into the curriculum, and I'm feeling pretty good about what we're doing. For the first time since I've been in this program, I have only 5 preps, and I'm teaching at least 4 classes that I just taught last year! (Praise God and glory be!) Yes, for most high school teachers that's a lot, but for me, who is used to 8 preps and not being able to reteach anything, well, ever... this is absolute heaven. I feel like this is the year I become better at the academic side of my practice, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Socially, we're much more balanced this year. I'm used to having a co-teacher rather than an assistant, and my colleague has a better sense of what it is we're trying to do; in short, we're getting pretty close to finding our rhythm together, which is a very good thing. We've let the Sunnies sort themselves into preferred classrooms: they still have to go to whichever class they need for credits, but they get to return to their comfort zone in between. Another huge change has our last class of each day as independent study time. Because 80% of this year's class are seniors (4th, 5th, or 4th-now-but-expecting-to-be-5th-next-year), there are quite a few of them who have needs specific to themselves and not to a full class of students. What's nice about this is they have control about how their day ends. Yesterday, my room had 10 kids all working on their own stuff. I had 2 groups of 2 kids working together and supporting each other through the chapter... and all I had to do was sit back and watch the magic. Yea, that's a good day.

So I'm back in the swing. I'm not going to lie and say my alarm clock and I are good friends, or that I wouldn't be all over working in a school that started at 10 AM.... but I feel pretty great being back in my room, pushing my Sunnies to be all that they can be.

{this moment}

2011-09-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-09-03T10:01:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

half full or completely empty?

2011-08-29T19:33:00.001-04:00

Just about 30 minutes ago, our town voted down a $10,000 grant that would have allowed us to keep the old school building and turn it into a community center. It was not a pleasant meeting. I love my town, but I do have a hard time being in a place that is afraid of the future. Most of the arguments were based on "what if"s... what if the furnace dies, what if we can't find more grants... half empty lines of thinking. I am half full to a dangerous point, I realize-- "Let's go for it, and it'll all work out somehow!"-- which is no way to run a business or a town, but there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Sadly, this project is not the one that will allow us to find it, because the building is now closed, forever.

Sadly, it reminds me of the town meetings when the town had applied for a new school building back in the early 90s. I wasn't a voting member of the town, but as an employee of the school I went to a few meetings to be informed. The town voted that building down... which is what directly lead us to have to merge with the neighboring SAD a decade later, which then became the massive RSU we now work for and send our kids to. The fear of the circuit breaker (the amount of the building which we did not have to repay because it was deemed more than the town could afford) caused citizens to turn it down in 1994. Those very ghosts were present in that same room tonight, but at what cost?

{this family moment}

2011-08-21T22:28:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-08-15T11:23:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this soaked moment}

2011-08-07T09:38:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this local moment}

2011-08-01T12:47:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

I feel the need to break the 'no words' rule here... everything edible on this plate except for the dressings and spices were grown or raised within our zip code. That was a very satisfying meal.

friendship pasta

2011-07-29T16:22:00.000-04:00

Last week, the men and the kids took off for HP 7.2. I have a whole soapbox speech about this series being turned into movies when kids were reading the books from which I'll spare you, but needless to say I chose not to go. Mrs. Bestfriend didn't go either because she's just not that into it. For dinner, we created a blue cheese pasta recipe using mushrooms and onions, and I will say it was pretty darned good. While looking through my kitchen to see what I could make for our party tonight, it hit me: summer squash.

Here's the recipe, without pictures because I'm not Pioneer Woman or a food blogger.

1 lb of cooked pasta, your choice

3 decent sized summer squash*, diced into 1" squares
1/2 an onion, diced (I used a bunch of green onions*, because that is what I had... you could use garlic if that was your preference too)
1 green pepper* (again, going with what I had in front of me. Skip the pepper, use a hot pepper, whatever sounds good to you.)
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 oz blue cheese
2 oz feta cheese (or parmesan)

heat some EVOO in a pan and saute your onion and pepper. (If I'd had any mushrooms in the house, I'd have used them and added them here.) When those are softened, add the summer squash and cook for about 15 minutes, letting them soften up nicely. I covered the pan and turned it low so they'd simmer and not burn. When you start to run low on moisture, add about 2 tbls butter. When the veggies look the way you like them (I like mine pretty broken down) add the cream and cheeses, stir, and pour over your pasta. If it was winter, I'd probably then pour it all into a casserole dish and bake it, maybe with some break crumbs on top, but it's just fine without that last step. We have some vegetarians joining us tonight, so I left out the meat, but you could totally add chicken or shrimp as well. Give it a try and let me know what you think :)

*The veggies are from our Thurston Family Farm CSA. Have I mentioned I LOVE my weekly baskets?

{this moment}

2011-07-23T15:34:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this working moment}

2011-07-17T21:08:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

(No words are over-rated... you're looking at the above ground pool site and the brick oven, behind the fire pit. Life is good around here, for sure!)

The Backbone of the World

2011-07-15T10:42:00.001-04:00

Glacier was incredible. Beautiful. From the beginning, it was destined to feel like home to me: we followed Rt 2 into East Glacier, and just knowing I could follow that road (albeit for days and days) and end up at home helped me relax and enjoy being away. The Glacier Park Hotel is also on the Blackfeet Reservation, which again, just makes me happy. I'm not Native American, nor do I have any Native stories (that I know of) in our family history. But I am an embarrassed European descendant, who hates to think about how horribly we treated the people who lived here first, and giving them some of my money... well, it's something anyway.

We got into Glacier on Monday, late in the day. It's about a 5 hour trip from Dr. Sister's house. The drive was really pretty easy-- well maintained roads all the way, with very little traffic. We could see the mountains to the left of us from about Helena on. (Speaking of mountains and Helena, the Sleeping Giant is pretty cool-- think Old Man in the Mountain, but a lot bigger.) Every time we go to Montana (which is looking like an biennial gig) I'm overwhelmed by what Lewis and Clark did. Hey honey, I'm heading out for the Pacific... see you in a few years! Holy Hannah... I would have turned around about 10 miles into the journey. We passed by the only spot of violence on their trip, when Lewis and his men camped with some Blackfeet for the night and things turned nasty (some say unpaid gambling debts were involved, others say booze... I'm pretty sure, at least, it wasn't over a woman...) and 2 Blackfeet were killed. Lewis and his men beat feet and traveled something like 3 days, day and night, before camping again for fear of retrobution. I say again, I cannot even imagine...

Anyhow, Tuesday was our Red Bus tour. Because of the record snowfall last winter, the Going to the Sun road, which connects East Glacier and West Glacier, was still buried under 12+/- feet of snow, so our route was mixed up a bit. We went to Two Medicine, Many Glacier, and then into St. Mary as far as we could get on the Going to the Sun before the road was closed. One trip is certainly not enough to really experience this place. If we weren't 100% sure we'd be visiting this park again before our tour, we were by the time we returned. Between the evidence of global climate change being right in front of you, the sheer beauty of the mountains and lakes, and the small crowds, this is certainly our kind of park. If anyone is up for a visit in summer 2013, let us know. I know I'm considering taking the train into West Glacier next time, and trying to get to Logan Pass from that side...

PS-- I forgot to create a contest with this one, so leave a comment, and I'll send you a picture. Easy Peasy!

upcoming posts

2011-07-12T23:18:00.000-04:00

I owe you a Glacier post and a trip home post, and maybe a I'll-go-anywhere-with-WB-but-hate-going-alone one. And probably a George RR Martin one, too. I promise I'll get to them as soon as I've read my book club book and gotten our teeth taken care of. Promise.

{this moment}

2011-07-08T19:07:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this late moment}

2011-07-08T18:54:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

always look on the bright side of life

2011-06-30T19:14:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned a few times on FB, I've been fighting a fever all week. I tried to keep it relatively on the DL... first of all, no one wants to be sick while they're on vacation. Secondly, my sister and her husband had plans to head off on their first night without kids since, well, having kids in the first place... 10 years ago. So sick or otherwise, I was not letting them back out.

I woke up today and knew I wasn't going to kick this without help. Off we went to the local urgent care facility; it's like a doctor's office that runs like an ER. After a 10 minute wait, a very nice doctor (but no where near as nice as my own family doc) saw me. "Normally I'd have waited this out, but we're traveling and I don't want it to get out of control." "Really? A fever for 3 days and trouble breathing: I think it's already out of control!" Ok, gotcha.

One script later we were out the door. Episodes like this make me think about our insurance system. I feel incredibly lucky to have the policy we do. While cost is a factor when we go to be seen, it's not a limiting one. If we need to be seen, we go. But I know that is a luxury to many. I can't imagine living paycheck to paycheck, praying no one gets sick because there is no money to pay the office visit ($104 and change for today; I paid my $15 copay) never mind any medicines. (I hate to imagine what even generic azithromycin cost.)

I am officially on the road to recovery; my sister and brother in law are on their get-away; and WB's presentation is done, to rave reviews. While this was not part of the plan, it's sometimes good to be reminded that needing medical care out of state is still less damaging financially than getting sick at home is for many.

scenes from Yellowstone

2011-06-29T18:52:00.000-04:00

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

{this moment}

2011-06-27T00:32:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

bringing a pic-a-nic basket into Jellystone*

2011-06-26T16:36:00.000-04:00

My sister's family lives about 90 minutes from Yellowstone National Park, and so a day trip in is a requirement of our visits. We entered through West Yellowstone again so we could see the swollen Gallatin River first hand. Because we spent a lot of time at Old Faithful on our last visit, we decided to steer clear of the old girl and focus our attention on other locales.

James had mentioned that the record snowfall this winter in the mountains meant more than just near floodstage rivers: the bison were out and about because there is so much snow in the forests. We were about 15 miles into the park when we saw our first herd at Madison. We thought those guys were close... until we saw the two running down the road between the vehicles. Um, yea, you guys totally get to decide when and where you go anywhere.

We checked out Fountain Paint Pots, Midway Geyser Basin, and then hung out in the Canyon region, checking out the Lower Falls and the Upper Falls. For those of you who remember my claw-like grip two years ago, you'll understand why we did not hike down at all, but stuck around at the safe distance of Artist Point.

If you ever have a chance to go, do. Even the best of pictures don't do the views justice... and mine are by no means the best pictures. There are parts of the park that seem surreal, and parts that are just magnificent to behold. It is very understandable that this place is what became the first national park. We're already planning our next trip back...

*Today's contest is an easy one: who might have titled this post? Comment away, to win a 4x6 shot of this:

According to my sister, this is the quintessential Yellowstone shot. It's of the Lower Falls from Artist Point.

in your eyes

2011-06-25T11:09:00.000-04:00

For the first time since flying anywhere as an adult, I shed no tears. Sure, I didn't enjoy the experience: I had to have physical contact with my boarding pass at every second (and made sure the kids knew they COULD NOT PUT THEIRS DOWN); I had to Lamaze breathe my way through some turbulance; my neck is still a bit tight where I was the monkey in the middle between WB and some (thankfully scrawny, but still) guy I didn't (and still don't) know. But, nothing was so overwhelming that it had to leak out through my tear ducts. Small steps, my friends, small steps.

There were some interesting sights along the way. There are many reasons I don't expect my children to ever take up smoking, but seeing the Room of Shame at Dulles might be the clincher. Inside the plexi-glassed walls of this small room (maybe 12x12?) were about 20 sad individuals, sitting there in the smoke filled haze, staring blankly ahead and trying to OD on nicotine.

Our stay at O'Hare was a bit more exciting, as we landed in terminal B, had to get ourselves over to F2D (which did not have us leaving security, however, so I really have nothing to complain about. Plus actually walking more than 20 steps at a time was nice, too.)* Anyhow, we got ourselves some Chili's to Go salads and parfaits, and were settling in to watch the weather in Quebec City (since that's where the plane before ours was headed) when we were relocated to F11, which is a much more old school gate. Down the hall and down the stairs we went, crammed into a huge room of our own (with NO smoking allowed, however), all of us waiting for 5 different flights. Each one would get called, people would line up and head out onto the runway to walk up the stairs onto the plane. Lather, rinse, repeat.

*Grammar freaks out there: where do I put this period? Inside the parenthesis? Outside? One in and one out? I always struggle with such details, and you know how they impact my stories...

Now, those of you who grew up playing obsessively with Little People, those airplane steps are as steep as recreated in plastic form. Going up wasn't a problem, but coming down.... I was working hard not to have my own SNL*. Actually, having come down those stairs I think Chevy may have been a bit hard on President Ford, although Ford didn't have to carry his own luggage while navigating his way down... but still, that was not easy.

*WB was having the very same thoughts as he tried to get safely to the tarmac. Ah, marriage. One mind, one soul, hundreds of bad jokes.

In keeping with the tradition, each of these posts will include a 4x6 picture giveaway: all you have to do is comment back to me (on the blog directly or on FB whenever it decides to feed in). The title of this blog is a reference to an older movie where the girl was petrified to fly, and the boy eventually goes with her on a plane, and talks her through take off. It's the most perfect movie ending, because when they get to cruising altitude and he's saying something about as soon as the captain turns off the seat belt sign they'll be safe... and the movie cuts to black with the airplane 'ding'. Earlier in the movie he'd stood outside her window, in his trench coat, playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes through his huge 1980s boom box. Name the movie, or the actor with the boom box, and you'll get this shot:

(And yes, I sang this song to myself, and it worked. We all have our own ways of coping... and after our layover in DC, I am thankful I use music and not cigarettes.)

ready or not

2011-06-22T23:47:00.000-04:00

We're getting ready to head off to Montana again*, and I've spent the day prepping the house and the luggage... and reminiscing about our journey 2 years ago. Then we were driving; this time we're flying. Two years ago, it was raining, and had been raining for days and days and days. Now, we've had the most beautiful weather ever. All sorts of flowers and plants are ready to pop, and it's making me sad that we'll miss it. But, as was true 2 years ago, my nephews are growing up without me, and seeing them live and in color is way cooler than seeing any old flower :)

*I know I shouldn't be announcing to the world that we're leaving, but our house will not be empty. We have a highly qualified house sitter, as well as my constable father in law coming to mow on a very regular schedule. So no worries. It's all good.

I've had a few requests to blog our trip again. I don't think it will be as exciting, since we'll get to our destination in 1/4 of the time, but I'm happy to oblige. Maybe this time the exciting bits will be when my kids take over the writing to describe my flying phobia. Either way, see you tomorrow from mountain time.

midsummer's eve

2011-06-21T22:08:00.001-04:00

As a friend pointed out, tomorrow brings us on the downward slide towards the winter solstice. I choose to ignore that fact for a bit longer and just bask in the glory of long days and short nights. To honor the day, we used our first farm basket from Thurston Family Farms and made swiss chard artichoke dip with this beautiful greenery and
and grilled chicken and steak ceasar salad for dinner.
After dinner, the kids made the desserts they are best at:

Happy Midsummer to all... and to all a good night!

(PS: Happiest of birthdays to two of my favorite people! love you!)

{this moment}

2011-06-19T22:10:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

as we head into summer...

2011-06-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

Marks of authenticity.

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Jessica Hagy

This is not comforting today, as we head out on summer vacation. Sunshines: don't get yourselves too scarred up. I have proof that you're alive, and I truly would like it if you stayed that way. Remember, if anything bad happens to any of you... I will NOT be ok!

{this moment}

2011-06-12T12:01:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

vacation...

2011-06-11T22:52:00.000-04:00

I got a hug from a sunshine this week. He'd gone out to wait for his bus as I was picking up. My back was turned as he came back in; I turned around to find him waiting for me. "Have a good summer Buckaroo"...

You too, honey. All of you. Have a good summer. Have a safe summer. And I'll see you soon.

{these moments}

2011-06-05T09:38:00.000-04:00

16 on 16

2011-06-04T23:22:00.000-04:00

It's pretty easy to say "I do" that first time, especially if you're relatively young and have never lived with anyone, because you have no idea what you're promising. But that doesn't mean you don't mean it when you say it, and that it is not worth the promise.

The first year really is the hardest. Combining 2 individual lives, with different ways of making dinner and doing laundry and keeping house is not easy. If you can survive the first year, you can survive anything.

Time apart is as important as time together.

Talking is what keeps a marriage functioning. Talk about the weather, politics, groceries, or who needs to line up the sitter. But just keep talking.

You're going to disagree about things: you're separate, intelligent people. Disagreeing doesn't mean you don't belong together; it just means you have your own ideas on things, and you care enough to share those ideas.

If you're lucky enough to have kids, don't forget that your relationship needs to outlast their childhood.

Finding the line between living to work and working to live is key.

It doesn't matter if you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle.

Do what you used to do when you were dating. That's what made you fall in love, and it will help keep you in love.

Include your kids in what you used to do, too. You'll see it through their eyes, and it will give it a whole new meaning.

Celebrate the big anniversaries and the little ones.

Don't neglect Date Night.

Be honest, but never cruel.

Passion does fade, but what replaces it is pure magic.

Friends are as important now as they were in the beginning.

While you had no idea what you were promising at that ceremony, be thankful you trusted yourself enough to know you knew what you were doing. Because you really, really did.

{this moment}

2011-05-30T10:40:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

here comes the sun!

2011-05-24T13:57:00.002-04:00

{this moment}

2011-05-21T21:16:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

theme of the week

2011-05-20T10:15:00.000-04:00

I do enjoy Indexed... her ability to summarize the complex emotions I'm experiencing and put them onto a 3x5 index card amazes me. And, if the truth were told, focuses me too.

Tomorrow is another day....

How to win.

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Jessica Hagy

if tomorrow never comes

2011-05-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, a friend of mine passed away. We did not see other every day, or even every month, but we're the same age and so our lives had a similar path. We met when we were single, and followed each other through dating, marriage, and motherhood. She chose to homeschool, and minimally I'd see her every spring when I'd come in to review portfolios. She contacted me recently about setting that date. And now, I will not be seeing her and joking about being a 'certifiable' teacher... and nothing seems to make much sense.

Part of what is hitting me so hard is that our lives followed a similar path. We're the same age, with children the same ages (although she has twice as many). When I look at my kids, I can't help but wonder how they would fare if this tragedy had happened to us. I want to show WB where I keep all the important documents, just to be sure he knows. And then I think about her husband and kids, and that they are actually living this horror.... and I realize just how selfish I am being.

No one likes facing their own mortality, and this is precisely what her passing has done. We have all sorts of platitudes about the gift of each day, but we all go about our lives thinking we have tons of time to do what we want, to plan for the future, to experience everything. Truth is... we have no way of knowing whether our fate is to die of old age in our sleep or to battle against cancer for years and die at 52 or to have a brain aneurysm at 41, having no idea that morning that it will be our last. For as much as we know, there is so much that we don't, and we have to rely on faith. And relying on faith in the face of something that makes no sense is not easy, and yet it is all we can do.

Unsurprisingly, I've spent the day with Garth Brooks' lyrics running through my head. I do take comfort knowing she was the type of person to live fully, and I am sure all her friends and family know how much they mean to her. I'm just really sad that they'll have to spend the rest of their lives without her constantly reminding them of what they know is true. She loved every bit of her life, and it is a real tragedy that she is no longer with us.

{this moment}

2011-05-14T15:11:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

the dangers of cutting

2011-05-09T22:56:00.000-04:00

I attended the school board meeting tonight; to say it was painful would be an understatement. We're losing so much with these cuts, and it's our kids who will suffer. And any cut will affect kids-- whether you're cutting paper supplies or kitchen workers or teachers.

If you don't want these cuts, please come to the informational meetings and say so. Write letters to the editor saying our kids can't endure these losses to their education. Call your board members and tell them to vote down this proposal and request increases. Get involved. This impacts all of us.

Mt. Valley Region: 6:30 Monday June 6 Mexico Town Office
Nezinscot Region: 6:30 Tuesday June 7 Buckfield Town Office
Dirigo Region: 6:30 Wednesday June 8 DHS SCC

{this moment}

2011-05-07T19:31:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

the morning after

2011-05-02T14:29:00.000-04:00

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” MLK, Jr.

I find myself sad today, more than anything else. Sad that it took us 9+ years to achieve this goal. Sad that it was still a goal after 9+ years. Sad that thousands of others died in the quest for this one man to no longer live. And sad knowing that this does not mean the end, but only that things will change.

I am sure there is a 'break-glass-in-case-of-emergency' plan somewhere among Osama's followers, and I am frightened thinking about what grief that will cause. I am worried for my sister who is teaching overseas, and for my friends who plan to do the same next year. I am worried for our troops who are fighting in multiple locales... and while I hope this news brings them home, I am doubtful. My thoughts linger on people in southeastern America-- and Japan and Haiti and all the other sites of recent devistation-- who have lost everything of substance and so many friends and family that it hurts to consider what they are enduring. And I wonder: how does the death of one man-- a man filled with hate, for sure-- make any of their tragedy any better?

I believe in the power of love and the goodness of humanity and the-sun-will-come-out-tomorrow way of thinking. The sun did come out today, as it did here almost 10 years ago when bin Laden's unthinkable plan went into action. I wish this death could bring back those lost in New York City and Washington, DC and that field in Pennsylvania... but they are still gone, and we are forever changed by that day. We are probably forever changed by today, too. I hope that this is the end of it, that there are no repercussions, and that our troops can come home and we can all coexist. I'm just hoping for peace...

I realize I am in the minority that I am not rejoicing in his death. While I am thankful that he is no longer here causing problems for others, I am not sure we will be free of his legacy of hatred for some time. I am also sorry that another human being was charged with ending his life: I cannot imagine the toll that takes on someone's soul. It is why I don't believe in the death penalty: I have no doubt that there are people and situations that demand the final punishment, but I do not think it right to ask another human to fulfill that role. And so today I find myself sad more than anything else.

why I love the cold

2011-05-01T13:25:00.000-04:00

So I was sitting here, innocently reading Pioneer Woman and snacking on some low salt bdubs, when a tick crawled across my keyboard. Somehow I was able to calmly get myself to the bathroom, fill an old pill container with rubbing alcohol (all the while keeping my eyes on that bleeping creepy crawler) and roll the bastard into it.

At least when it's snowing and cold, I don't have to deal with ticks. I hate those creatures more than I hate mice. And I really hate mice.

I'm going to go freak out now.

{this moment}

2011-05-01T10:46:00.000-04:00

A weekend ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

this sums it up better than I could

2011-04-25T09:35:00.000-04:00

The heartbreak of returning to normal

5x7 Folded Card

2011-04-24T19:35:00.001-04:00

Wishes For Grandma Mother's Day 5x7 folded card

Personalized Mother's day cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

{this Earth Day moment}

2011-04-22T18:30:00.000-04:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

(PS: Any predictions on when the last of this Northern facing pile will melt? We could do our own little contest, and the winner could get some sunscreen or clothespins or something equally as cool...)

{this late moment}

2011-04-19T10:31:00.000-04:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from last week.

This is why.

2011-04-14T11:48:00.000-04:00

Today was swimming along. I was handing out books for 6th period and a few of them said "I don't need one." They were working on job applications, or doing make up work, or just not 'into it'. And so I let it fly, because I keep my classroom pretty real*. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother."

"Because you love us and you want to help us succeed."

Point taken, with probably the truest statement of the week. Even in the midst of chaos, we're moving forward.

For the record, they paid better attention and were more involved in the discussion than when they all have their books open.Who knew? Clearly not me...

*I've been reading Confessions of a Pioneer Woman like it's a novel. Don't ask me why it took me this long, but I am currently hooked. Maybe it's because I finished my last novel and am resisting starting the next one? Anyway, because I pick up speech patterns like no one's business, her phrases have been floating through my head all week. Just keepin' it real about keepin' it real.

I just stick out my chin, and grin and say....

2011-04-13T21:48:00.000-04:00

As I look around me, everyone is struggling. Kids are in constant crisis, and not just my sunshines. I hear reports of students crying, getting in trouble, losing their cool. Teachers, too, are on the brink... budget questions loom, and we have no idea what is going to make the cut or not. In short, people are on edge, and are in some serious need of a break. And we need more than a Kit Kat bar.

So where do we go from here? I go back to where I always go: strengthen your relationships. Check in on your friends and neighbors. Be kind to others, if only because you can. We may not be able to control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them. I choose to see my glasses as half full, even when the logical side of me knows they are probably mostly empty. And on those really bad days, I do try to channel Scarlet O'Hara, and to help others do the same.

So, my dear friends and kind readers, thank you for taking the time to check in on me. I could survive with a lot less things, but my world would not be the same without each and every one of you.

Hang On...

{this moment}

2011-04-10T21:07:00.000-04:00

A Friday (I know, I know, I was gone...) ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

... and we're back!

2011-04-04T20:01:00.001-04:00

So I know I've been quiet... I haven't forgotten you all, but I have been too distracted to write all those thoughts down. It's too much to explain, so let me try to sum up:

*It's now April, and we're in this weird not-yet-fourth-quarter-because-of-snow-pushed-the-end-of-third-quarter week. Vacation is 9 working days away. Not quite sure how this has all happened, but here we are.
*This year continues to challenge me, mostly emotionally. Things get really bad, and I stand on the edge of breaking, and then am able to step back and breathe. Today was a good day: multiple kids showed some serious gains and self restraint. Tomorrow is a new day, and one never knows, but today was a good day.
*I was overwhelmed with the love and well wishes from all my peeps on my rather snowy birthday. It is always overwhelming to be carried along on such a wave of love. One of the best parts of being a teacher is getting to watch kids become adults. In the midst of all sorts of chaos that seems like it's the most important thing EVER (do you remember your SAT scores, or the score of the championship game? Me either!) they figure out who they are and what matters to them. And when they take the time to send me birthday greetings, it melts my heart.

No matter what, I love my job. I can not imagine doing anything else, and if I'm lucky, I'll never have to.

{this moment}

2011-04-01T15:59:00.000-04:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this spring moment}

2011-03-20T19:03:00.000-04:00

A Saturday ritual, saved for Sunday this week, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama, capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-03-12T19:59:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, now a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-03-05T19:11:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, often a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

even half full glasses empty sometimes

2011-03-03T13:33:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel completely ineffective, and you start to wonder why you bother?

Welcome to my week.

(I'll be back when I've regained my stride.)

{this moment}

2011-02-25T11:09:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

Although I'm not the best rule follower ever... they're about the same 8 hour {moment} so as far as I'm concerned, it works.
[And, it is way easier to do this on Friday when it is the Friday of vacation :) ]

right there in the middle of vacation, a PLC broke out...

2011-02-24T09:38:00.001-05:00

Another teacher friend posted this on FaceBook this morning, and it made me think. Go check it out, I'll wait.

http://prezi.com/aww2hjfyil0u/math-is-not-linear/

So, my math teacher friends, what do you think?

{this moment}

2011-02-20T20:21:00.001-05:00

A Friday ritual, a Sunday one for me this week, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

seriously.

2011-02-15T13:17:00.000-05:00

So I'm reading my Time magazine while the students are taking a State sponsored drug and alcohol survey, and I see a new ad. For organic tobacco. Irony much?

Seriously, people-- this organic craze has gone a bit too far.

{this birthday moment}

2011-02-11T16:20:00.001-05:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

thankful

2011-02-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

I've had two friends, Amity and Deus ex Machina, post about being thankful recently. There is so much for which I am thankful. In no particular order...

Enough. I have all that I need and much of what I want. We have food, heat, shelter, clothing, reliable transportation, toys, and the ability to share what we have with those we love.

Relationships. There are so many people who enrich my life. I am lucky to have people to lean on bad days and to celebrate with on the good ones.

Vocation. I have found a job that I love, that allows me to give back and help make the world a bit brighter, and challenges me regularly. And provides me with a sufficient paycheck and time with my family. It is the best of all possible worlds, and I count my blessings daily.

Home. I love where I live, on this dead end road in this drafty old farmhouse. I love the change in seasons, and being able to experience heat in summer and snow in winter, the beauty of fall and and spring, and yes, even mud season! It's never boring around here, and I am grateful for the variety.

Optimism. My glass is always half full. I am glad to not be the Debbie Downer of the room.

Bestfriends. Knowing that you can call in an emergency, no matter the time of day or night, and have the unconditional support you need... it is a blessing.

Marriage. I am often struck by how lucky I am to have found someone to share my life with... and that it is truly a joint venture. Together we are raising two amazing children, and are growing closer with each passing year. I used to think that was true for everyone, but I now know just how blessed we are.

{this moment}

2011-01-29T11:00:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, often a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

it takes a village

2011-01-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

And that village showed up tonight.

Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends. Teachers, who were there to support the students and to support me. Administrators, current and former students. Nieces and nephews. A room full of love and support for 2 wonderful boys who are now high school graduates.

When I look out at an event like this, I get choked up. Partly because graduations always make me cry happy tears, but mostly because you don't often get to see what love looks like, and I get to, almost every year.

I believe in the importance of connectedness. (My Loyal Readers can attest!) I know that it takes more than one person to help us make it. We all need friends, family, teachers, and community members checking in and cheering for our success and supporting us in our mistakes. And while there are different levels of involvement, they are all vital. On nights like this, I get to see it, and feel it, and give it shape and form.

I love my job. It is often really, really hard, but it is always rewarding. Congratulations, boys. I am very, very proud. Thank you for letting me be a part of your village.

learning to trust herself

2011-01-23T20:08:00.000-05:00

"Mumma, how do you make your chip dip?"

Most of you can answer this question without my description, and because you know how 'semi-homemade' it is, you are giggling as I was earlier.

"Take sour cream, and add onion soup mix."

She asked for a few more details, like how much cream and how much dip. Until it looks right, honey.

Shockingly, she headed off into the kitchen, by herself, and made it. Asked for my help tasting it, and agreed it could use more soup mix. "Is it right now?"

The smile on her face when it was finished was like she'd just made a souffle.

So much of cooking is tweaking the recipe until it looks and tastes right. As kids we started with chip dip, too, and moved on to create our own Chex mix... and from there, any recipe we thought looked good. Mom was around, but we quickly got to the point where we'd tackle anything, even without her standing next to us to help. Today, I mostly look at recipes to confirm that I'm on the right track with whatever I'm doing. This is one family trait I'm happy to have her take with her.

{this proud moment}

2011-01-21T11:54:00.001-05:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

2011-01-14T13:47:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

and I didn't even need Mommy's Little Helper to pull it off

2011-01-11T18:52:00.001-05:00

I have always loved to cook. All my siblings do. We used to make cookies after school... which turned into teaching ourselves to make blondies, and chex mix, and anything else we wanted for an after school snack. From there, it was an easy leap to making dinner when we got home before Mom and Dad. (My mom still tells the story of my brother calling her at work after school one day asking what it "hard crack stage" meant. She did panic a bit on that one.)

Sometimes, cooking is a means to an end. We're hungry, we need to eat, therefore, someone must cook. But sometimes, I feel like Kitchen Goddess, where I combine my love of cooking with my love of recycling and my Yankee frugality.

Last week I made a roasted chicken with roasted veggies. This was a HUGE chicken from a local family, so I knew we'd get at least 2 full meals out of it, plus some lunch leftovers. It did not disappoint. As I was cutting the rest of the meat off the carcass (which I of course turned into stock) I was pondering what they might become. I remembered the turkey gravy in the freezer, left over from the most recent turkey. And then I saw the buttermilk purchased for Girly's birthday whoopie pies... and then I knew. Pot pie, baby. Oh yea.

So today after Boy's ski meet, I threw the cut up chicken, prepped leftover roasted veggies, and gravy into the pot, heated it 'til the gravy boiled, and transferred it into my casserole dish. Made Bisquick biscuits (which are just like dumplings but rolled out instead of dropped into hot soup) with buttermilk instead of regular milk. Half the batch is now covering said dinner, the other half is baked off as regular old biscuits for breakfast this week. Dinner was going in the oven as my boys were coming through the door. Goddess, yes, I believe I am.

It's meals like this one that make me channel my inner 1950s housewife. I don't like to get pushed around by anyone, male or female, but there is something satisfying about knowing how to get every last bite out of your food dollar and then combining it all into a delicious recipe of your own creation. Housewife or not, that's a good day.

{this moment}

2011-01-08T09:39:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, often a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

healthy, wealthy, and wise

2011-01-01T14:11:00.000-05:00

Since I started kindergarten in 1975 I've been tied to the school calendar. I think of today as being a continuation of my year, rather than the start of something new. I mean, when I go back to work I'll have the same kids in the same grades; change doesn't happen until June when everything is shaken up by graduation.

Except for making Resolutions, which I faithfully make and sometimes keep.

I guess it's the act of reflecting and reorganizing that appeals to me. And the optimism that comes with it-- that this year, I really will [insert goal here]. That every January 1, I get a chance to try again.

So, with a shout out to Ben Franklin for the theme, here goes nothing.

Healthy:
I'll try to follow Cooking Light's 12 Healthy Habits challenge. I like that they're focusing on one change a month, like eating more fruits and veggies in January and moving more in February. The idea, of course, is that once you get through the month the habit has stuck and you're ready to move on. We'll see if I can master 12 healthy changes in 12 months... I am giving myself permission to change the timeline as fits my life.

Wealthy:
I want us to be smarter about our finances: to be more conscious of what I'm spending and do a better job of saving. I don't want to be rich, but I want to be debt free. Becoming debt free this year is not realistic, but changing how we handle our money is.

Wise:
I need to spend more time reading and writing. Which might mean less time on this machine... which could make this the hardest one of them all.

{these moments}

2010-12-31T17:06:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo (sometimes two) - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this holiday moment}

2010-12-25T11:38:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, often a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

tradition

2010-12-25T00:59:00.000-05:00

We spent Christmas Eve as we always do, with friends in town. The players change with time, and the venue has too, but the sentiment is the same: it is the closest I come to church. We socialize, enjoy amazing food, and read Christmas stories to each other. Every year is different, but the love is the same. Powerful stuff, if the truth be told.

I have always been fortunate with friends. Ok, maybe not always, but in my adult life for sure. I met some amazing people in college (and we hope to get together every November....) and am surrounded by incredible people here. But the longest friend I have was actually my sister's friend first. Let me sum up:

MVP lived about 2 miles from our house. She and my sis were best friends off and off through elementary school, but it 'stuck' in high school. (Best costume ever was the year they were a clothes line: they were each trees with a bit of line between them and mittens hanging off it. Nowadays they'd have to take it apart because of safety issues, but in 1980-whatever-it-was, it rocked BHS.) We all ran cross country together (and by "ran" I really mean "limped along the course to cross a finish line and score pathetic points"...) and became a solid group before too long. For many years, Sis and I would head to her house before heading to the Christmas Eve service at our church. Now, keep in mind that said friend was Greek. Which meant Greek pastries. So no matter how many Aunts were in the kitchen working on finishing touches, we were happy to stay in the living room out of the way, exchange gifts... and of course we'll sample the wares while we're around...

Her mother always served us ginger ale, in a paper cup. Every year. It was part of what happened: amazing baklava, and paper cups of soda. Flash forward 10 years, and her mom passed away after a battle with cancer. And now every Christmas Eve, I remember that first tradition that was mine, and not my parents, and toast Mrs. V's memory. This year, my children realized Santa doesn't like milk AT ALL, and would much rather have a Coke. So here's to you, Mrs. V. It's not ginger ale in a paper cup, but it is given with love by some wonderful children. I have no doubt you'd approve.

disclaimer

2010-12-22T08:46:00.000-05:00

For the record, I don't tell these tales looking for accolades. I tell them because writing about them helps me process. To be able to "let it go" when I've had a rough day. All the love I get from all of you is an added bonus.

So thank you for supporting me. It really does make my job easier.

lessons of the Magi

2010-12-21T15:13:00.000-05:00

Most years the holiday season brings a bit of stress into our happy classroom. I've come to expect it. But this year... well, let's just say it fits in with the theme of The Hardest Year Ever. So what's my response? Just keep swimming. We made sugar cookies today... and 3 kids participated. Maybe 4 kids worked on the gingerbread house. Yesterday I couldn't even read them The Gift of the Magi without complaints.("What do we do if we've heard this already?" Heard this already? I hear it at least twice a year and it STILL makes me cry! You'll listen and like it!) So, I compromised, and showed the Bert and Ernie version, where Bert trades his paperclip collection to Mr. Hooper for a soap dish for rubber duckie, and Ernie trades RD for a cigar box for the paperclip collection. Mr. Hooper, who is Jewish and doesn't even celebrate Christmas, then saves the day by returning the prized possessions. (If you want to see it yourself, I found it on YouTube. Christmas Eve on Sesame Street. Clips are intermixed and I'm not savy enough to grab them.) For about 15 minutes, they were playing along. They got it. They understood why I love this story, whether about Jim and Della or Bert and Ernie. I told them the story of Devon's washing machine and all the checks flowing in... and the one friend who gave 'everything that was in my wallet', which was a number resembling $1.87. And I cried when I read them the final paragraph, as I do every time, and I heard Devon reading along with me. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are the wisest. Everywhere they are the wisest. They are the magi.

If I do nothing else in this job, I want to fill them to overflowing with kindness and love and happy memories. I want them to know that someone enjoyed spending time with them. That someone thinks about them fondly, and tells stories about them for years and years. I know I don't send them away having mastered all the academics they're supposed to, and yes, that does bother me. But, I think anyway, I do send them away feeling important. And if that is all I do... that is enough.

{this moment}

2010-12-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

A Friday ritual, often a Saturday one for me, from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

life's lessons

MCP 2012: January

{this *TMI* moment}

good days and bad

{this moment}

behavioral balance

{moments}

resolutions and reflections

{those moments}

{this moment}

{last week's moment}

{this moment}

{this moment}

{this moment}

right kind of crazy

tomorrow is another day...

{this moment}

{this moment}

{this moment}

in memory of DR

There's No Place Like It

{this moment}

Which words should we live by?

{this moment}

{this *proud* moment}

tough love

{this moment}

finding Common Ground

{this moment}

settling in

{this moment}

{this moment}

half full or completely empty?

{this *family* moment}

{this moment}

{this *soaked* moment}

{this *local* moment}

friendship pasta

{this moment}

{this *working* moment}

The Backbone of the World

upcoming posts

{this moment}

{this *late* moment}

always look on the bright side of life

scenes from Yellowstone

{this moment}

bringing a pic-a-nic basket into Jellystone*

in your eyes

ready or not

midsummer's eve

{this moment}

as we head into summer...

Marks of authenticity.

{this moment}

vacation...

{these moments}

16 on 16

{this moment}

here comes the sun!

{this moment}

theme of the week

How to win.

if tomorrow never comes

{this moment}

the dangers of cutting

{this moment}

the morning after

why I love the cold

{this moment}

this sums it up better than I could

5x7 Folded Card

{this *Earth Day* moment}

{this *late* moment}

This is why.

I just stick out my chin, and grin and say....

{this moment}

... and we're back!

{this moment}

{this *spring* moment}

{this TMI moment}

{this proud moment}

{this family moment}

{this soaked moment}

{this local moment}

{this working moment}

{this late moment}

{this Earth Day moment}

{this late moment}

{this spring moment}

{this birthday moment}

{this proud moment}

{this holiday moment}