Wish you were here.

 There's something about nordic races. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you owe it to yourself to go.

When Ben fell in love with the activity in 5th grade, it was fun to ski around the backyard with him, watching him figure it out. When 3 other parents pushed admin to create a MS team (and Dave to coach them all), he was thrilled. His first race was a 1K loop in blustering winds that knocked an alpine ski lift of the rails and his little patootie back down the hill.... and he couldn't wait to race again. In for a penny.

The thing about nordic is you get to know the competitors. All of them, across the league. We transitioned from middle school races to high school. We watched them cut minutes off their times. We watched them grow up. 

USCSA races followed, requiring us to travel across NNE to continue snowbanking. There was the girl from Cornell, who asked me to hold her glasses when they kept fogging up. The boy from West Point who had never been on skis and gutted out 4 laps. Ben's teammates, who were continually surprised by us showing up as often as we did. And we showed up as often as we could, because we love to watch. We went to NH on Saturday to watch Clarkson race, knowing the coach and 2 skiers. Bonus--Army was there, too.

Last year, we got to watch him coach/wax for Estonia at the World University Games, and then again at NCAA Nationals. Since then, we've watched (remotely, of course) 4 of his kids ski in World Cup races. We may have only spent about 8 hours with each of these kids, but being there for their success is just as gratifying as it was watching our MVC skiers make gains.

Being a mom has changed my life, but being a nordic mom has enhanced it in ways I never envisioned (although having the Winter Olympics on during labor should have been a clue). That we came to love this sport as parents has infused it with all the memories of all the past events. The Maranacook course reminds me of when Cate gave it a try in 6th grade. Telsar Relays bring back memories of the Dirigo and Telstar teams in a line cheering Ben's friend Isaac as he came out of the woods. Titcomb is where we celebrated many of Ben's birthdays... and on one very cold day Cate confirmed this wasn't the sport for her. I can't think of a trip to Presque Isle without remembering the blizzards they skied in at States. Twice.

Today was MVC Day 2 and I got permission to leave school early to be there. All of Dave's skiers had personal best times on Day 1. This team is not in contention for winning in the traditional sense, nor was anyone looking at a top 10 finish. But when our last girl had not come across the line after all the boys had finished (girls race first this year) I was concerned. A senior and I found some of the boys, who confirmed she was upright, just side-stepping down the hills. I went back to the bridge to see her finish... and when she came down the hill, 2 of her teammates were behind her, coaching her towards the end. 

The announcer called out her determination and embodiment of the sport as she crossed the line. I don't think there was anyone left watching but us, but we might as well been with Chad Salmela screaming as Jessie crossed the line for the Gold medal. 

Because she did win, and so did this team.

And if we're being honest... so have I.

Guest Blogger

I'm a Guest blogger on Make Teaching Joyful. Check it out over on her site.

Rock n Roll Lifestyle?

 Last night, we went to a show. This is not unusual for us--our relationship is based on music and seeing bands live. This show was a relatively impulsive one: when dates were first announced, I thought we'd be in Alaska in July. Turns out, we weren't but the show was already sold out. Dave found some tix being sold by purchasers who couldn't attend (this is the only part of Ticketmaster I like-- no scalping, just a way to get reimbursed when life gets in the way) and off we headed to Thompson's Point in the hazy afternoon heat (an actual upgrade from the scheduled night's downpours and flooding that caused a rare reschedule.) I digress: we went to a show last night, having only decided to go about 4 days ago. For this planner, that's pretty darned impulsive.

Dave loves CAKE (the band, not the dessert-- he's more of an ice cream guy). He knows all the deep cuts. I like them-- they're quirky and unique, but sometimes a bit too extra for me. I know the hits, and some of the B sides. Either way, there we were, grovin' along and following their request to not take pics or videos of the show. (I like to use band photos as my ticket stub in these modern, digital times, but our selfie will have to do. It's their show and they get to choose.)

                                                  

As the sun set (and it was an incredible sunset because of the wildfire smoke headed our way) and it got darker, it became more obvious that the couple near us had used something stronger than alcohol or pot. As Dude collapsed to the ground, almost sliding down Dudette's torso, I was no longer just at at a show. About 10 minutes prior, another woman had offered us a Starburst: no Gen Xer in her right mind would take candy from a stranger, and at a concert no less? Thanks, but I'm good. She rushes over to the Dude and gets him to eat one and have her water; Dave hears something about K. And then, without intending to do so, Mom mode kicks in.

It's this inability to let Dude deal with the consequences of his actions to the detriment of my experience that ensured I'd grow up to be a helper of some sort. I kept my eye on him, watching for any movement, while also trying to (unsuccessfully) scope out a paramedic. He would move every so often, Dudette would circle back around (Dave heard her say something about being annoyed), and then, CAKE played the opening notes: "Reluctantly crouched on the starting line." Dude hears this, and as we get to "He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse" we watch him impersonating said horse--crawling on all fours through the standing water to get to the dance pit. Mom is no longer needed.

There have been a few events this year that highlight my Lawful Good personality. I don't like breaking the rules-- even when I know it is the objectively right thing to do, or at the very least not wrong. As a student, I used to find ways to avoid the whole class lectures, knowing it wasn't because of me but also knowing if I didn't disassociate a bit (ok, I didn't know that word, but I did know I needed to 'leave' the classroom to stay safe) I'd start crying. I have vague memories of being called to the principal's office in first grade because I had told my mom I didn't want to order school lunch because we'd been told if you didn't eat everything you'd be in trouble, and I didn't like canned veggies. So... yea. This streak runs deep.

How I taught alt ed for all those years even I don't really understand. I think it was an opposites attract situation: I knew there was a freedom in not caring about the rules, but that to survive in society you need to find a way to make peace with many of them. I could use a bit less rule following in my life--and to be honest, Sunshines did help me learn to let some things go--but I'm far from Neutral. 

I like being Lawful Good. I like knowing the outcome of the choices I make. I like knowing there's little chance I'll be falling down drunk on the way out of a concert--or miss the show because I've sailed off on a separate trip. I've made my peace with how boring the made for TV movie of my life will be--which is ok, because it probably won't even get picked up for production. And as much as it kicked me out of my experience, I'm glad we're both global citizens and make sure others are if not safe, at least not dying.

It'd been 4 years and 2 weeks...

 ... since you took my travel away. April, 2019, was my parents 50th anniversary and all 4 of their children went to their party. It was the first time the 6 of us had been together since 2011 when we were helping my parents clean the ME house so they could move to AZ full time. The 4 of us siblings hadn't all been together since somebody's wedding, and we were up in the barn looking through old boxes. We were each considering what we should keep when one of my sisters announced "whose retainer is this?" and my brother's face showed what we were all thinking. Good times, indeed.

We made plans, as you do, to get the whole family together. It was early April, so Dave was at work and the kids were in school; same for my sister's family. If I'd known, I'd have dragged us all out, but do you ever really know what's coming? 

The day after school got out, Dave and I flew to Alaska. Now, you need to know that this trip was a bucket list item for me. I have always wanted to go, and I had an Alaskan Cruise in mind as what we did with our bestfriends after all our kids graduated college. Life has a way of taking your plans and switching them up... and this big switcharoo was Ben getting hired at UAF as the assistant nordic ski coach. So, instead of cruising the coastline after our collective kids were settled, our first post-pandemic travel was going to see our kid in his adopted state. Like, wow.

My insta/FB has all the photos from the trip, which was incredible. What I couldn't get beyond, though, was the *act* of traveling. Security, airports, boarding. Seeing new places with people who know me better than most others. Seeing where our oldest has planted his flag, and being with him as he explores this place he now calls home. 

I am blessed to live the kind of life that affords such luxury. Seeing new places, exploring the environment and culture of place, with people who mean the most to me... yea. I missed it, more than I ever acknowledged during the Dark Times. Taking this epic trip with my husband and our oldest (our youngest was quite clear that she would sit this one out--and having experienced her motion sickness firsthand, I don't blame her) made it even more magical. 

If you are so lucky to be able to do so, travel. You'll learn so much about the world, sure, but you will experience things that you could never imagine possible.

It had been 4 years and 2 weeks, and now I can't wait to get back out there.

India Rubber Ball

My friend was younger than I am now when she died. Which is an impossible statement, but a true one nonetheless.

I was 32 when she died nearly twenty years ago, a wife and a mother of 2 young kids. She was married with 2 kids, one my age and one about decade younger. I knew their loss was unimaginable, beyond compare; the loss of her knowledge, experience, and perspective shifted all of our lives in directions that altered time and space. We grew, aware of the now empty space, as best we could. 

What I didn't know then, however, was how young she was, in a not old sort of way. I know I'm no longer the young one around, but I still have much that I want to do, to see, to become. And it strikes me, again, what a tragic loss of someone who still had so much life to live.

We live to dance another day, indeed.

America I love you...

 ... but you're freakin' me out. I don't love this video, but the song is spot on.

I can't believe we have US governors who are actively engaging in behavior that, in some circles, is considered human trafficking. People who were not born in America and escaped to Florida were told, by officials, that there was housing and work for them at the other side of this plane flight. That sounds like force, fraud and coercion to me. Good golly, Miss Molly, indeed.

It's been a rough time to be a person who naturally questions authority. It's also been rough to know you've tried to help a generation of kids learn to fact check statements, analyze for motivations, and to add their voices to the cries of a nation. I suspect the 2020s will be taught to future generations (if we get ahold of our climate impact and continue to survive as a species, but I digress) in the same way we talk about the Roaring 20s now-- sex, drugs, rock and roll, and corruption.

The Dobbs case was shocking, but only in that it confirmed what we've known for awhile: American women are not treated with the same autonomy as men. I felt the same way learning George Floyd's murder and resulting trial of his murder as I did watching Rodney King become a token of the riots in Las Angeles. It's not news that racism is thriving in America, but watching the fallout makes me wonder how other intelligent, thoughtful (white) people can't see it. And don't get me started how any citizen who truly loves this country and values what it stands for can continue to align themselves with the Republican party, which is now overtly working to only allow rich, educated, white men at the table.

Some days are hard to accept. Some days I do want to leave and not look back. Most days, though, I know I have to stand up and fight for what I know to be true. We can't be "the great melting pot" if we don't allow others to join us in our pool. People who identify as BIPOC experience more disadvantages to reaching 'the pursuit of happiness' than people who are white. Women are entitled to control over their minds and bodies. 

America, it's time to look in the mirror. What we're saying doesn't line up with what we're doing. 

reference:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/09/17/desantis-migrants-marthas-vineyard-cape-cod/10410896002/

College Ready only works if you're actually ready

Unless you've lived under a rock, you're aware of Biden's push to reduce all existing student loans for borrowers making less that $150K per year by $10,000-- $20,000 for Pell Grant recipients. Many of my friends disagree with this policy, and I understand their reasoning. As someone who has worked in a public high school during the "College Ready" push, please allow me to express why this plan is what is right for America today.

Anyone who thinks things are the same today as they were when they graduated must have graduated this spring. College costs have skyrocketed in the last 30 years-- in fact, the tuition rate for my son's college has increased $12,000 since he entered in 2016. For perspective, my bill for 1988-1990 was $12000 TOTAL. Yea, we need to do something to change the narrative around student loans in America.

There is a lot of data that shows that college graduates make more money than those who don't earn a college degree. For the sake of this argument, I'm not going to touch the gender disparity shown here, which is it's own topic entirely. As someone who had Gear UP programming in her high school, I can ascertain that US public high schools have been pushing kids to go to college for at least the last 20 years-- even when they said they didn't want to go. We'd show them the data that said their life would be better if they went-- even showing the kids who weren't sure they would graduate from high school that they "should" go to college right away. Pre-pandemic, I watched kids agree to loans because they were told that's what they *should* be doing, even when their eyes betrayed some hesitation. You should go, we'd say. It'll be fine...

During the pandemic, I watched kids feel free to say no. I don't want to pay for remote classes. I don't want to go without knowing what's coming my way. I don't want to go. I watched kids regain their voice and choice about what was right for them. Hells to the yes!

Biden's plan is designed to eliminate the debt of the kids who went for a semester or a year, but never earned their degree. For the kids who have the debt because of our pressure, but without the degree to translate to the ability to pay it back. It cost me $40,000 to pay my 1/3 of my MSW; I was able to pay that off during the 0% interest phase of the pandemic because I have a job that pays me for having a Master's degree. I won't benefit from this new program, and frankly, I shouldn't. But, I have friends who graduated with me with $120,000 in debt. $10,000 won't eliminate theirs... but it will ease some of the burden. For students who have earned their bachelor's degree in the last 2 years and are carrying $80,000 in debt, this will help. For those who attended a semester or two of college and can't make ends meet with their minimum wage job-- this will right the wrong WE pushed on them. 

I know there are many who don't agree that we forced kids into a loan they didn't want. But...remember when you were 18 and a senior in high school. If your guidance counselor told you to go to college so you could make more money, and you could get help making that happen financially... would you have known to push back?

The pandemic has highlighted that college is not for every 18 year old high school graduate. It's also shown us that we need those "essential" workers for our economy to function. I see no problem helping those kids who were caught in the crossfire. $10k per loan is set to help those with the least amount of debt the most. And that helps our economy so we all benefit. That is win win for me.