no no drama. you don't want no drama

Today was one of those days where I wonder if I am a lightening rod for drama. Do I thrive on it? I am certainly moved to action as a result of it. My day started simply enough-- I was even early for LAW (I know!)-- and the session was a good one. But when I arrived in my room, I discovered my partner had resigned, giving no notice. OK! Plan B! It was a scene for awhile, but it settled down before lunch... to have me return to some student drama, which has not yet been resolved. That required me to find a 'don't touch me corner', and a few phone calls which were cut short for various reasons. After that, the remaining sunshines lost their ability to hold it together-- the classroom dissolved into absolute silliness, and I realized it was better to just let the mood take hold and just survive.

After school was all about making non-stress bags for our grades 3-8 students starting state mandated testing tomorrow. (I enjoyed the irony of making stress kits with the other PTO moms while my day had been all about the stress; just sticking with the theme, I guess.) It took longer than I'd hoped, which meant switching vehicles with WB who had to take Girly to gym (again). But now all that's left in my day is getting some dishes done, getting Boy to his haircut, and getting dinner together. Silly me... I checked email. Turns out my Fabulous Uncle is MIA: my mother emailed asking when I'd last heard from him, as he hasn't answered her emails or those of another uncle. I'm not sure I even have a number to reach him in France. Great.

So do I invite the drama or does it just find me? I've gone quite a bit without it, so I'm hoping today was just my turn to be the epicenter. And, if you feel otherwise, please give me a few days to settle down before bursting my bubble.

I'm may not be here for a long time, but I am here for a good time. --JL

Yesterday we stopped in to visit with Mr. L. We've known him since college (I knew who he was, but didn't know him personally-- he was a bit on the wild side) but really got to know him when he took a teaching job at our school. He was never what one would call conventional, and that held true inside the classroom as well. Three years ago he ended up as our middle school alt ed teacher, and life was really good.

Fast forward to last summer, when he was diagnosed with cancer. He's taken a leave of absence this year, and while we found a great replacement, we still miss our wild and crazy friend. He looked ok yesterday-- tired and a bit skinny, but still himself. It was good to just hang with him for a few hours; we're planning on stopping in after archery more regularly. In fact, I think it's time for a PSD reunion: we talk about it all the time but have never been able to pull it together.

It's been 3 years since we lost another teacher friend to this horrible disease, and 6 years since Devon. Life isn't fair, and sometimes we get thrown these curve balls that really do a lot of damage. I don't pretend to understand why, nor do I really want to. I want my friend to get better, now, and not have to suffer through the healing process. But Mick and Keith are right, and sometimes you don't get asked for your opinion. I don't like thinking about other ways this might end, but Mr. L never did leave the pink elephant sitting in the room alone. His philosophy is hard to think about, but I respect the guy immensely for living it. There are no guarantees in life but you can choose how you react to whatever gets thrown at you. He's choosing the optimist's approach, to ride it out to whatever conclusion follows. I feel pretty honored to be there for part of the ride.

don't want to change a thing

Yesterday we took a field trip to the "hippy fair". I don't like to organize field trips, but I recognize their value. For me, they give me the chance to say 'I trust you. Meet me at XXX time. Be good.' At the fair, they were. Checked everything out and had a great time. Sure, their interests are a bit more varied than mine, but whatever. They were talking to groups in the political and social activism tent, and that's what counts. They saw a part of our state they might not ever have seen otherwise. That's a success.

I ended up getting off the bus 30 minutes early so I could head to Boy's soccer game-- which I did not think would happen. We left earlier than I'd thought, and WB later than I'd guessed... and my Eddie T. (ed. tech) offered to finish out the bus ride so I could see my son. How do I argue with that? I explained it to the sunshines... and not "5 minutes after you got off the bus" one of them decided to use his lighter on a bracelet they were making. There will be official consequences, but there will also be consequences with me. And people wonder why I hate field trips.

Boy's game was incredible. His grade, both boys and girls, are loving soccer and starting to think the game. I'm so glad I got to see it-- it was amazing to watch. They are going to be a fun group to follow through to graduation. Good kids, good skills, and good parents to hang with. Hope Girly's group proves as strong.

When we got home, I had a letter in my mailbox from a graduate. He was just writing to tell me how he was doing and asking me for an update of my family, too. If there was any question that I was succeeding at my connectedness goal, it's gone. His life may not look the way I hoped it would, but he's making the best of it, and telling someone about it. Pretty darned amazing.

So I guess these random field trips are worth it. You never know what it is that will pay dividends, but something is working.

perspective

http://krazykaroline.blogspot.com/2009/09/riddle-me-this.html

Big Little Sis is teaching in a world very foreign to mine. I don't know how she does it. My sunshines aren't in gangs; their grouping is a positive identity, like I've got your back. It's not about instilling fear or performing random acts of violence. I say again: I don't know how she does it.

learned from the best.

Last week, we had the first PTO meeting at Boy's middle school. I don't mean 'first' like the first of this year, but 'first' like first time this decade, maybe first ever. I was hoping for 3 parents to be there with me and the principal. Dreaming of 5. What we got were 7 parents and 4 more who wanted to be there but couldn't. Um, yea, I left there feeling pretty psyched (I'll spare you the REM theme song running through my head).

I have no idea where this group is going, and right now I don't really care. What matters is that we're trying and we're moving forward. Doing something to make things better. There's been an athletic boosters around for awhile, and we're trying to add to the collective community volunteering. That's always a cool thing.

Since then, I've been thinking of my friend Devon. A lot. She was the Volunteer Coordinator in my little school where I first earned a paycheck. She was Super Volunteer. As late as 1992, we had 3 volunteers come in daily to help serve lunch. (Yes, one paid employee and 3 volunteers-- welcome to rural living. My first paychecks were hand written and not computer generated. I kid you not.) She called the willing participants and figured out who worked when. She filled in when someone was sick. She organized the training at the beginning of the year and the Volunteer Appreciation Banquet at the end of the year. And she did everything in between. What happened last week is nothing compared to what Devon pulled off in her sleep, but I have to say, it feels pretty amazing to be channeling her energy. I've been involved in our elementary PTO since Boy started kindergarten, and now working with 2 schools... I guess it's nice to know that she's still here beside me, helping me help our students.

doin' my part

The vast numbers of RVBs have gone silent. It's ok: I'll keep posting and hopefully you'll all be back.

caring

We talk about different aspects of nurturing people, but Danielle's post about caring sums it all up. Damn, she's good. If I, or anyone I love dearly, is ever that sick, I want her to be the one on call.

(For you FB followers of my blog, here's the link. Read her. You won't regret it. http://6yearmed.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-care.html)

not myself?

I stepped a bit out of my dressing comfort zone today... mainly with a sweater that fits instead of one that might fit WB. All day I felt different, and it wasn't until I headed to Boy's school to get him after practice that it hit me: I felt a bit like I was channeling Ms. SJ.

What do you all think?

photo booth

So some of the sunshines have their laptops. It took them 2.5 hours to find Photo Booth. I might never get them back.

Friday

Ever have one of those days that is crazy busy and leaves you exhausted at the end, but refreshed too? Convinced that you're doing what you're meant to be doing, where you're doing it?

Yea, me too.

Teddy

In the early 90s, my family vacationed on Martha's Vineyard with another family. We did this for 3 or 4 years, until more children needed summer jobs to pay for college and there wasn't a need to rent a big beach house. It was during one of those summers, when I discovered I didn't hate history.

We had taken a day trip to Chappaquiddick Island, and went to the bridge where Teddy Kennedy didn't make the corner and left Mary Jo Kopechene to die inside his car. It was at that point it hit me: history is just the story of what has happened, and why. And sometimes, if you understand the why, you can find patterns and and get a deeper undertanding of what happened.

It turns out he was not the first Kennedy to be part of my history readiness. When I first met Mike, who was a history major, we got talking about the Bay of Pigs incident and I just casually said something about the Cuban Missle Crisis saving Kennedy's presidency: had that turned out differently, JFK would be remembered for a failure and not for staring down the Ruskies and winning.

In the years since visiting Chappaquiddick, I've wondered if that incident changed Teddy into the Lion of the Senate; without it would he have remained the spoiled youngest child of American 'royalty'? The best assessment is Teddy was driving drunk, and why a married man would be on a deserted road with a young political groupie... well, ask Bill Clinton why that might happen. He made a bad choice that night and a young girl died. Chances are good that his family name kept him out of prision. From there, his life could have gone two ways: continuing to be a partying playboy or accepting responsibility and making changes.

I have no way of knowing how haunted he was by this incident, but I imagine it never quite went away. While I will never be able to assess Teddy's life without thinking about Mary Jo, I have to admire him for facing his history, and working tirelessly to not have that be the only way he was remembered. I don't think he pushed for universal healthcare for his own glory, but I do think he was prodded along by a ghost who would never quite leave his side. I don't believe she died for the betterment of our society or anything quite that trite, but I do believe it would have been worse had her death meant nothing to him.

The Senate is a lonlier place with Teddy's passing. I hope he was able to apologize to Mary Jo's ghost, and that his soul is now at peace.

happy new (school) year

So far the year has been fun. I mean yea, I know it's only been a couple of days, but those two days went well. It was good to see my old sunshines again, and I think the new sunshines will fit right in. I've made some changes to our room which seem to be improvements that everyone can live with. I do love my job, which makes summers ending so much easier to take.

all good things...

Tomorrow we rejoin the working world. It's bittersweet, really: I love my job, but it's never easy for summer to end and the real world to be, well, reality. I mean, it's a pretty sweet gig-- 10 weeks of absolute freedom, steady paychecks coming in, giving us the ability to do what we want when we want. In fact, we'd be crazy to look forward to that ending.

I have never had a job that required me to work summers. Sure, I had summer jobs while I was in school, but once I was hired as a full time teacher, summers were as free as when I was 10. When we became parents, summer took on new meaning: it meant the end to schedules and routines and time to relax and play. Now that the kids are in school and involved in all sorts of activities, that free time is even more precious. We know we're spoiled-- not many families have both parents home all summer able to enjoy their children unencumbered by limited vacation time. We don't teach to become rich, but I have to say this fringe benefit is a pretty big deal, and worth the frustrations that come with the overall financial picture.

We've come to the end of another year. (Since I started kindergarten, my years have started in September rather than January. I've never really known it any other way.) We go back to workshops, the kids spending the next 2 days with bestfriends. Bedtimes, lunch boxes, homework, and after school activities will fill our evenings. Days of the week will matter again. Boy starts school sports this year, which brings a new level of involvement. They're in separate schools, too-- another new change to the routine. But as I write this, I'm in a fleece and contemplating closing the windows. Leaves are falling, and it's time to return to the real world. In a week, I'll be back in the swing, happily hanging with my Sunshines during the days and my own kids at night. But if you think for one minute that I'm glad to see summer go, you're insane. I know how lucky I am, and I'm going to enjoy every last minute.

the single life

It is well documented that I do not enjoy being alone. Before kids, a 10 minute shower was enough alone time in a day... now I think somewhere around 45 minutes is perfect. Anyhow, 12 hours is far too long. Auntie gave me what for this summer, saying I need to get used to being alone. Well, thanks for your perspective, but I don't see that happening. She never married nor had kids, so obviously she likes the solitude of an empty house. Me... I did marry and still fill my house with kids at any opportunity. I like people and am and off the charts E, so... yea, people. I like 'em.

Yesterday we went shopping with my mom. Today I have a meeting until 3, so I asked if Gramma and Grandpa would like some visitors for an overnight. This means the kids get spoiled before heading back to the grind and I spend the night alone. Bestfriends saved me for dinner-- they made delicious grilled pizza and filled me with conversation. But let's just say I am looking forward to my meeting way more than is healthy: a room filled with 9 people is just what I need, no matter what we're discussing!

I heart Ms. Mimi!

Probably the best thing about BTS (at least for me, in this moment) is the return of Ms. Mimi posts. I don't read many blogs outside the RVBs (these days that means I'm barely reading anything!) but she is such a Rock Star that every post is guaranteed to score at least one giggle, if not a head shaking 'you go girl'. If you're a teacher, and you don't read her, you should at least check her out. She's got mad blogging skills.

15s from FB

Books That Stay With You
Here are the rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. They don't have to be the greatest books you've ever read, just the ones that stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.
1. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee.
2. The View From Saturday, E. L. Konigsburg
3. Wrinkle in Time series, Madeline L'Engle
4. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
5. The Fionavar Tapestry, GGK
6. A Song of Ice and Fire series, George R. R. Martin
7. Skinny Legs and All, Tom Robbins
8. I Like It When, Mary Murphy
9. Junie B. Jones, Barbara Park
10. Ramona the Pest, Beverly Cleary
11. The Hobbit, J. R. R. Tolkien
12. Hope Was Here, Joan Bauer
13. HP and the Half Blood Prince, J. K. Rowling
14. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
15. Where The Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak

15 films
Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.
1. When Harry Met Sally
2. She's Having a Baby
3. The Breakfast Club
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
5. LOTR trilogy
6. The Princess Bride
7. Star Wars (the original, before it was retitled A New Hope)
8. Little Miss Sunshine
9. 4 Weddings and a Funeral
10. Finding Nemo
11. March of the Penguins ("And they will never see their parents again.")
12. Moulin Rouge
13. It's A Wonderful Life
14. The Wizard of Oz
15. Chicago

Camelot

We had a lovely little trip to the Cape. WB's sister and her 2 youngest boys were there as well, and for 4 days we did nothing but laze around and go to the beach and enjoy good food. You have to be independently wealthy to live on the Cape anymore-- all the locals have basically been driven out by the rich folks. Our ability to go every summer will most likely end when Auntie leaves this world: she told me once (during happy hour, when she let down her guard) that all the remaining family wouldn't be able to pay the taxes. She never married nor had any children, so after her parents died she could afford to keep the house and property they had bought in the late 50s, before it was the hot place to retire.

It's a weird place to be emotionally-- knowing you're enjoying something that most people can't, just because you married someone who has a wealthy relative. It's kind of like trying on a new life and seeing that it still doesn't fit. We'll never be wealthy, and that is completely ok with me. (Gods willing, we'll never be poor either.) I will enjoy our annual trips until they come to their natural end, and know the kids and their cousins will have shared memories of Nauset Beach and marathon Monopoly games and keeping the whiffle balls out of the gardens, and it will be a part of what defines their childhood. If that isn't magic, I don't know what is.

While we were there, Eunice Kennedy Shriver passed. All the local news (which is Boston news) talked about her accomplishments, most famously starting the Special Olympics. The Kennedy's have a huge presence on the Cape, although not near Auntie's house. You got the sense that it wasn't just about a famous person dying, but about a great woman leaving the world better for her having been in it. We were struck by someone coming from such a powerful family using that influence for good. Rest in peace, Mrs. Shriver. You deserve it.

enjoying a day of sandwiches

We visited with WB's high school friend this week. I'm embarrassed to admit it had been 7 years since we'd all gotten together. Sure, they moved a couple of times, and often we'd be gone when they'd come home to visit, but that's just too long to go without seeing great friends.


The kids all got along well, which is something since none of them remembered each other. We sat on the dock (the new one, with 11,000 lbs of flotation) and caught up while the kids jumped in the lake and began to build their own relationships with each other. It was quickly obvious to all that Girly and A could become very good friends.

It's wonderful to see old friends again. Within seconds everyone is back in the swing, and it's like we're neighbors who see each other regularly. Having seen my friend with my sister and now his friend at her parent's camp, it reminds you how vital friendships are. New friends are important-- don't get me wrong-- but being with people who grew up with you and stuck with you over the years is magical. I feel thankful to have these friends who we still love to see (even when we don't do it enough) as well as my friends here, old and new.

Last night we learned that a friend and fellow teacher has cancer. We don't know anymore than that, and that he's had to take a leave of absence from school. I must admit I'd gotten used to not having a sick coworker, and am quite saddened to learn of his illness. It also reminds me of all our mortality, and to enjoy every sandwich. I'm glad we got to see so many people that matter to us this summer-- and we're off to the Cape to visit more family this weekend. It's not like I'm planning on something going wrong or anything, but I guess just aware that life is too short to not spend it with people you love. So don't be surprised to see me knocking on your door anytime soon...

I'm not looking

WB doesn't like July 1: to him it means summer is fleeting. For me, it's August 1. School starts in August. School means routines and schedules and commitments. It's not that I don't want to go back to work-- I love my job. It's just that I love the freedom of summer. Because we're both teachers, we get 10 weeks as a family to do whatever we want. How can you want that to end?

Last night we had dinner with Mike and Katie and celebrated summer. Great food, great margaritas, great company-- everything that is great about summer. We still have a month of summer left, and have no fear that we'll enjoy it. But school planing will start to creep in and before I know it I'll be waking to an alarm clock. Maybe I'll wait a few more days before flipping that page...

school of rock

Music has always been a central part of our marriage: I knew he was the right guy when he also knew Fairy Tale of New York that first Christmas. We've gone to lots of shows.. and now that the kids are older, they come along. (Hey-- it's sometimes cheaper than paying a sitter!) Actually, they've been coming along for a few years. Their first show was Guster, Ben Folds, and Rufus Wainwright on our way to Palm Springs in 2004. Since then they've seen BNL, Great Big Sea, and John Eddie. Who the Hell is John Eddie? you ask? Think country Bruce Springsteen and that's pretty close. He puts on a fun show, and seeing him on 207 last night made us realize it'd been awhile since we'd seen him.

Having the kids with us at shows makes me happy. We never played Barney or kids songs when they were little-- they listened to what we listened to, and liked it. And it shows. They can sing along with a lot of the bands we see, and in the right setting, they even jump up and down. Tonight's venue was like a movie theater with a stage, so there was way more sitting in the crowd than there should have been, but when in Rome, you don't anger the people behind you. The kids brought it at the end and did us proud.