Monday, May 28, 2012

At the corner of Writer's Block and Starting Over...

I've been quiet on the ole' blog lately, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about why. Even trying to write this post about why I'm not writing is proving to be a struggle. Mostly I think I have so much swirling in my head-- budgets and successes and failures and 8th grade ceremonies and what will next year bring? and sports schedules and menu planning and is everyone ok?-- that to try to write one sentence means I have to find a way to stop the swirling. But that would take energy I don't have, and so, instead, I don't write. Not logical, but real.

I do have some things to say, and perhaps part of what I'm struggling with is the confidentiality of the other poor folk who share my life. Perhaps it is time to say goodbye to this blog and start 2 new ones-- one for the no harm content, and one super private one for those topics that I need to process in my extroverted way but without the extroversion piece. But then I'd have to lock that second one down, and I'm not so good at that, either. See how I got to the original solution in the first place?

So, my obvious wide spread audience, I need some help. What say you?

Sunday, May 06, 2012

generations


Our dance recital was this weekend, which is a full fledged family affair. Girlie and I dance, WB runs the curtain and is an all around techie, I also stage manage, and Boy ran the spotlight this year and is learning the light board. (He used to dance, too, but stopped this year. I'm holding out hope that we can get him back on stage one of these years.) And my parents and WB's mom always come to watch.

Some years I love our songs, some years I just love to dance. This year it was all of it-- great songs, super fun dances, with costumes that fit the mood. After the show, my mom told me that my grandmother (whom I adored) used to have a red polka-dotted dress, and at one point she saw her in me. Other friends saw me in Girlie. Somehow knowing that there was evidence of my grandmother being there made the entire event even more special.

Today we got word that my mom is in the hospital. Nothing too serious, it seems, but we'll have more answers tomorrow. She's got a NG tube in and some pain killers running through her system, so my dad told us not to come visit because she really couldn't talk. I didn't want to put those images in the kids heads if it wasn't necessary, so I reluctantly agreed. But all day it's been nice knowing that she saw her mom for the first time in awhile before this happened.