Rock n Roll Lifestyle?

 Last night, we went to a show. This is not unusual for us--our relationship is based on music and seeing bands live. This show was a relatively impulsive one: when dates were first announced, I thought we'd be in Alaska in July. Turns out, we weren't but the show was already sold out. Dave found some tix being sold by purchasers who couldn't attend (this is the only part of Ticketmaster I like-- no scalping, just a way to get reimbursed when life gets in the way) and off we headed to Thompson's Point in the hazy afternoon heat (an actual upgrade from the scheduled night's downpours and flooding that caused a rare reschedule.) I digress: we went to a show last night, having only decided to go about 4 days ago. For this planner, that's pretty darned impulsive.

Dave loves CAKE (the band, not the dessert-- he's more of an ice cream guy). He knows all the deep cuts. I like them-- they're quirky and unique, but sometimes a bit too extra for me. I know the hits, and some of the B sides. Either way, there we were, grovin' along and following their request to not take pics or videos of the show. (I like to use band photos as my ticket stub in these modern, digital times, but our selfie will have to do. It's their show and they get to choose.)

                                                  

As the sun set (and it was an incredible sunset because of the wildfire smoke headed our way) and it got darker, it became more obvious that the couple near us had used something stronger than alcohol or pot. As Dude collapsed to the ground, almost sliding down Dudette's torso, I was no longer just at at a show. About 10 minutes prior, another woman had offered us a Starburst: no Gen Xer in her right mind would take candy from a stranger, and at a concert no less? Thanks, but I'm good. She rushes over to the Dude and gets him to eat one and have her water; Dave hears something about K. And then, without intending to do so, Mom mode kicks in.

It's this inability to let Dude deal with the consequences of his actions to the detriment of my experience that ensured I'd grow up to be a helper of some sort. I kept my eye on him, watching for any movement, while also trying to (unsuccessfully) scope out a paramedic. He would move every so often, Dudette would circle back around (Dave heard her say something about being annoyed), and then, CAKE played the opening notes: "Reluctantly crouched on the starting line." Dude hears this, and as we get to "He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse" we watch him impersonating said horse--crawling on all fours through the standing water to get to the dance pit. Mom is no longer needed.

There have been a few events this year that highlight my Lawful Good personality. I don't like breaking the rules-- even when I know it is the objectively right thing to do, or at the very least not wrong. As a student, I used to find ways to avoid the whole class lectures, knowing it wasn't because of me but also knowing if I didn't disassociate a bit (ok, I didn't know that word, but I did know I needed to 'leave' the classroom to stay safe) I'd start crying. I have vague memories of being called to the principal's office in first grade because I had told my mom I didn't want to order school lunch because we'd been told if you didn't eat everything you'd be in trouble, and I didn't like canned veggies. So... yea. This streak runs deep.

How I taught alt ed for all those years even I don't really understand. I think it was an opposites attract situation: I knew there was a freedom in not caring about the rules, but that to survive in society you need to find a way to make peace with many of them. I could use a bit less rule following in my life--and to be honest, Sunshines did help me learn to let some things go--but I'm far from Neutral. 

I like being Lawful Good. I like knowing the outcome of the choices I make. I like knowing there's little chance I'll be falling down drunk on the way out of a concert--or miss the show because I've sailed off on a separate trip. I've made my peace with how boring the made for TV movie of my life will be--which is ok, because it probably won't even get picked up for production. And as much as it kicked me out of my experience, I'm glad we're both global citizens and make sure others are if not safe, at least not dying.