that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger

As you all (probably) know, WB was gone on a trip to a foreign country. He went as a chaperone with a school group doing service work. He loves to travel, and I very much don't, which is why he went and I stayed home with our kids (who were not allowed to participate due to age).

We've been apart before, for various courses and opportunities. What we didn't expect was the inability to talk daily. I think it was a full 7 days from when he left home to when we first talked online. I am a very social creature, so I had a very hard time not telling him about all the things that happened in my day. Most of the stuff was trivial-- so-and-so called, your magazine came in the mail-- but I missed telling him those things.

A friend of ours husband is serving overseas, and she has been on her own since the start of the school year. I thought of her, and him, and their kids, constantly throughout our little separation. What right did I have to complain about 8 days, when he wasn't ever really in danger? It could always be worse (which I'm sure our friends are also thinking) and you take what life throws your way and learn from it. Did I miss him? You bet. Was it the end of the world that we had a mini-vacation from each other? Not even close. Had we realized we didn't miss each other at all, well, that would have been tragic.

big time?

http://www.aeaofme.org/annual-conference

Does this mean I know what I'm doing?

To All Maine Points

It could be my most favorite sight in all the land.

Too bad I was zipping by at 70-something and couldn't snap a shot.

coping skills

When Boy was a baby, WB and I rarely needed a sitter (sitters require money...). When we would call on someone to come hang with him, we'd fill them in with all the deets, including bedtime. We quickly learned, however, that what they really needed to know was that Boy would just go to sleep when we left. Not immediately, but he'd play a bit, and have some dinner, and right after eating, he was done. For the night. The first few times the sitters were worried they'd done something wrong, but the best we could figure was he missed us, and knew if he went to sleep he would feel better. (I know, amazing coping skills for an 8 month old!)

As you all know, I've been dealing with a lot of Sunshine related drama, and one of the main themes is the distinct lack of coping skills. Either they don't know how to cope with the given situation, or don't have the energy to, or don't really care to, but the lack of coping causes as many problems as the issue at hand. But we debrief a lot about what they could have done, what they could do next time, and most importantly, how to avoid the situation in the future. I'm under no delusions that I wave my magic wand and *poof* everything is fixed, but it certainly won't get any worse by me trying.

I was chatting with my Little Big Sis this week, and I realized that I am running a national campaign that I didn't even know existed! Last year one of my girls came up with "Buckaroo on your shoulder". It even comes with hand movements: hold your thumb and forefinger about 2 inches apart, and then put it up on your shoulder. That's where I sit, all day, every day, ready to give you advice when you need it (kinda like WWJD? but without insinuating that I'm God-like). Should I get in the vehicle with this person I know has been drinking? Buckaroo on your shoulder thinks probably not. You might still choose to get in the truck, but you at least thought about it, for a minute, and owned the decision. Nationally, I guess it's called the Pause Campaign. Who knew?

Coping skills are huge. Without them, you feel out of control, often look out of control, and can end up looking less competent than you really are (I'll never forget the PET I left in hysterical tears when I got some bad infertility news. It was soon after that I resigned my teaching postion to focus on becoming a parent.) But when you've got the right skill for the right situation, you come out looking like a genius.

WB left for the Dominican Republic last night, and will be gone for a week or so. While I was making dinner tonight, I suddenly realized Boy was asleep on the couch. That kid knows how to cope.

I like these kinda Mondays.

Compared to recent days, today was pretty normal. CrazyBusy, as I think will be the theme until the Seniors are gone, but no major drama to process through.

Can I get a what what?

I hope to return to my regularly scheduled thoughtful blogging soon.

following Dory's advice

So many things happening, and I'm truly at a loss for how to proceed. But proceed I will, probably making mistakes along the way. Because giving up doesn't solve the problems. And the problems I'm talking about aren't just how to make your budget balance, so not finding solutions is not an option.

Just keep swimming indeed.

climate change

Anyone who does not realize that global climate change is real is hiding their head the the ever warming sand. I can't ever remember hanging clothes on my line before April vacation-- and even then I have to be very aware of the remaining snowbanks. This little patch of snow is the only patch I can find on our property: I'm sure there is some hidden in the woods, but I haven't gone looking. We should have grilled Easter dinner today instead of roasting-- but mentally I was not prepared for the weather. Regardless, it's been a nice stretch of weather, and even when the temps return to normal next week we've still crossed a line that can't be uncrossed. Summer is coming...

happy birthday to me

Today the tens place changes a digit. I'll be honest, it did mess with my head a bit. Girly asked me if I felt any different, and it was hard to answer her. I do feel different... but how to explain that to a 10 year old? For the first time, I feel thankful to have made it to this birthday, because many others don't. I feel confident in who I am and what I believe in. I feel... grounded. I feel at peace.

Forty feels pretty good.