Saturday, June 04, 2011

16 on 16

It's pretty easy to say "I do" that first time, especially if you're relatively young and have never lived with anyone, because you have no idea what you're promising. But that doesn't mean you don't mean it when you say it, and that it is not worth the promise.

The first year really is the hardest. Combining 2 individual lives, with different ways of making dinner and doing laundry and keeping house is not easy. If you can survive the first year, you can survive anything.

Time apart is as important as time together.

Talking is what keeps a marriage functioning. Talk about the weather, politics, groceries, or who needs to line up the sitter. But just keep talking.

You're going to disagree about things: you're separate, intelligent people. Disagreeing doesn't mean you don't belong together; it just means you have your own ideas on things, and you care enough to share those ideas.

If you're lucky enough to have kids, don't forget that your relationship needs to outlast their childhood.

Finding the line between living to work and working to live is key.

It doesn't matter if you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle.

Do what you used to do when you were dating. That's what made you fall in love, and it will help keep you in love.

Include your kids in what you used to do, too. You'll see it through their eyes, and it will give it a whole new meaning.

Celebrate the big anniversaries and the little ones.

Don't neglect Date Night.

Be honest, but never cruel.

Passion does fade, but what replaces it is pure magic.

Friends are as important now as they were in the beginning.

While you had no idea what you were promising at that ceremony, be thankful you trusted yourself enough to know you knew what you were doing. Because you really, really did.


Katie said...

That's well put. Happy anniversary!

Sarah (SJ) said...

As MacPro and I are in countdown mode until the "BIG Day" (T minus 11 days) you have GREAT advice to live by! If I hadn't already written my vows I might have added a few of your ideas.