you are my sunshines, my many sunshines...

So far this year I've had 5 sunshines come back and visit me at school, and another coming in later this week. In fact, I talked to 4 today! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear from all of them, and to still be part of their lives, whether they're looking for boxes for packing (who else should you call but your obsessive recycling teacher!) or wanting help applying for college, it's wonderful to still be a resource. Absolutely wonderful.

With all the crazy changes going on in my world this year, it's really nice to hear back from these guys. I've said many times "once a sunshine, always a sunshine"... and I'm so glad they feel the same way.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

another brick in the wall

There's lots going on in our happy district... and lots of it is not so happy. So far this week I've had concerns about things happening at all four levels. I'm under no delusions that our district is perfect, nor that it is the worst around. We do many things well... and have many things that need to be improved upon.

I don't want to focus on the negative, because, well, my brain doesn't work well that way. So I've been asking myself what can I do to make it better? How can I help my friend and colleague get through her struggle? What suggestions can I make to spark a productive conversation instead of just complaining? How do we fix it?

What can I do to make things better?

[Believe me, when I answer that question, I'm going on tour.]

{this moment}

A Friday ritual (becoming a Saturday ritual for me) from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

something to ponder

http://whatedsaid.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/10-ways-to-assess-learning-without-tests/

This is from What Ed Said, a blog WB suggested but hasn't really hooked me yet. I don't have time to read this post now, but I definitely will later.

Thoughts?

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

highs and lows

Yesterday, contrary to what my sister who lives in the future indicated, was not a good day. We got it all in-- wired kids; a severe disagreement between me and Sunshines about what it means to answer the question "What happened?"; kids needing to be dismissed because staying the day would have resulted in something being broken; another needing dismissal because his GF was in labor; the FBI (no joke) showing up to question a student about someone else who had enlisted last spring; and one kid thinking about dropping out. Oh, and after school the local police called to follow up on a complaint and another called upset about something that happened at home.

Today was much better. Still wired, but at least willing to be roped in. I'll take it as it comes.

the bright side

One good thing about getting 7 school days under your belt before Labor Day weekend is that the day off actually feels like you've earned it. We had a great weekend-- lots of friends came over to hang out by the fire, I got all our laundry washed and hung out on the line, and we cooked like crazy people yesterday; Girly made chocolate chip muffins while I handled the bread and butter pickles, zucchini relish which will get canned tonight, zucchini whoopie pies, and cole slaw to sit on top of the pulled pork best friends invited us over to share. When the alarm went off today I couldn't even be upset.

And now it's a short week. Sweet!

ch ch ch ch changes...

I don't remember how much I've said here about all the changes in my classroom, but we've got lots going on. First of all, we've gone from a teacher and an ed tech to two teachers. Which is huge, because instead of being responsible for all 24 credits our high school requires for graduation, I'm only responsible for 12. That may not seem like much when you just read it, but trust me when I tell you, 12 is a very manageable number. We also changed locales over the summer. We had been down the street in a building that housed central office and 4 other HS classrooms. Now we're in a stand alone house the district purchased.... a long time ago. It really functions like a portable classroom, except it's not portable. Anyhow, both of us have our own classroom, which is wonderful. Next weekend they're taking a wall out of my room to make it better able to fit a dozen or more adult sized bodies, and at some point (I hope some point soon) they're going to get the basement ready for us to have one big room that will fit all 2 dozen students we share at once. So to translate... our classrooms weren't ready for the first day of school, and if they're ready by the first of October I'm going to be thrilled.

But all that is pretty easy to deal with. The really big deal is that we are now, in effect, employed by 2 different high schools. Another school in our region (I'll spare you from my rant against our state government's budget balancing scheme) does not have an alternative ed program, and the best plan for all (meaning kids, parents, teachers, administrators, and taxpayers) was to bus them up to ours. This was decided last spring, and at face value, it's not that big of a deal. Sunshines are sunshines, no matter what their zip code. But graduation requirements, well, those are definitely different. To say that it has taken me some figuring out is an understatement; I didn't leave work before 4:30 all week. Naturally, this other school reports grades on trimesters, while the first reports quarterly. Quickly doing the math... that's 14 times we'll be reporting progress reports and grades. One school awards credit at the end of each semester, the other at each trimester, which means some of our students need .5 credit of health while others need .67. None of this is insurmountable either, but it would have been helpful to have known before the first day of school workshop.

The good news is we have a plan and have it as figured out as it can get until going through it once. Two logins for the two different schools; everyone's transcripts have been reviewed and assigned to our appropriate classes. We each get a prep period, WHICH IS HUGE. I have not had a prep period since taking this job, and can you tell how thrilled I am to have one now?? My classes are basically English and history while hers are math and science, and we split the electives. It changes a bit second semester, but it does get everyone what they need. The returning sunshines aren't thrilled to have to learn a second teacher, but it really is in their best interests.

I guess the most significant part of this week was how quickly the kids from the other school assimilated. They are all interacting with each other, sharing stories about cars and cops and parents and realizing what I knew from the beginning: they are the same kids, they just have different school colors.... which they're still not sure they care about completely. It took us less than a week to start to form this community, which is all the proof I need that none of them are bad kids. They are now my kids, for good or for ill. I will defend them when necessary, and I will call them on the carpet when needed, too. Mama Bear has 22 sunshines, and it doesn't really matter where they come from. They're here now, and that's all that matters to me.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

the end of summer means popovers!

We ended our summer the way we often do: driving across the state to have popovers and lobster stew at the Jordan Pond House. It's a 3 hour drive to get there, and it seems a lot of others had the same idea because we had a significant wait to get a table... but it is so very worth it. The popovers melt in your mouth, and the homemade strawberry jam and whipped butter are just decadent. The stew can't have much more than butter, cream, and huge chunks of lobster. If you've never gone, you need to fix that, and soon. You won't regret it.

The point is this has become part of our family ritual. We go to Acadia at the end of summer; one of these summers we really should go and stay longer than a day, and spend more time in the park. This year we didn't time it right to visit Thunder Hole, but we did make it up Cadillac Mountain. This massive cruise ship was in town, and it certainly looked to us to be bigger than some of the islands in the bay.

These crazy rituals of ours make me happy. Most of the people we know are not insane enough to log 6 hours of driving in a day just for some popovers.... but we are, and it helps define us. We don't follow routines much, but we have things we like to do at the same time every year. The end of school means take out lobster rolls, although most of us don't order lobster rolls anymore. Memorial Day usually has us on a Family Field Trip somewhere, but who knows where. Girly and Beaner have started a birthday shopping trip, as their birthdays are only 3 days apart... and I'm thrilled they are learning that rituals like that are part of what brings you joy and comfort in this life. That, and when you find a place that has incredible food, it is worth a day's journey for another taste.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. But I forgot my purse at school yesterday, which had my camera in it, so I'm a day late. Sigh.

winding down

The alarm clock has been ringing more and more frequently, and the need for regular dinner times and bed times is becoming more apparent. Clothes are purchased, backpacks filled, and the list of things to accomplish whittled down to a final few. I am looking forward to getting back into the routine of our regular lives, but the end of summer is always bittersweet. It's not that I don't want to go back to work, but that I don't want the fairy tale to end. Who would? Even though I know all good things must, I'll hold on tight to the next week, so when it's time to let go, I truly have no regrets....

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{these moments}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo- no words - capturing a moment from the week. But because it's my blog, I get to make the rules, so I'm doing two. Because I can.

{that moment}

So we were on vacation, and reliable internet was not part of the bargain. But here's my moment anyway...

brain development

if you get a chance to attend a workshop or conference where Karen Williams is speaking about brain development, go. Trust me. Drop everything and go.

(I can't find a specific website to link to her, but check these out if you want proof.)
http://leahsedpsych.blogspot.com/2009/05/brain-development-presentation.html
http://www.maine.gov/corrections/jjag/williamsWorkshop.htm

where everybody knows your name

The conference I'm at, formally known as Dropout Prevention, has been renamed Positive Youth Development (turns out youth who stop attending school don't really like being referred to as dropouts, and honestly, I can't say as I blame them). This year specifically is titled R3, which stands for Relationships, Relationships, Relationships. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I, the self-proclaimed QUEEN of relationships, am here. I have heard so much over the past two days that has affirmed what I do and given me ideas for where to go from here. (For those of you who attended two years ago, fear not: it's a whole new gig. The organizers took all our suggestions to heart and you really should come back with me next summer. Seriously.)

Anyhow, that's not the point of this post. The point, in my typically wordy manner (Strunk and White would be SOOO mad at me!) is that (madder still...) the organizers have taken relationships research to heart. As I was checking in (listed by first names, not last, as a way to be more personal) the woman in front of me had a lot of questions and held up the line. As I waited patiently, the administrative assistant for the college department that sponsors this event had my folder ready for me. Yes, she remembered me, out of a sea of hundreds of people and having talked to me face to face maybe 5 times? Wow. That is impressive. She is good, no doubt about it, and yes, one of her friends is the mom of my childhood best friends, but still.... that's darned impressive. Practicing what you preach.... yea, beyond impressive.

Over the last 2 days I've run into other organizers who remember me, both from state government and other alternative educators and administrators. Me! So much of this is because all of us in this field believe in the power of relationships, and know that no real work happens without it. No matter the reason, it feels pretty good to know I am making a name for myself in my chosen field. (Let's just hope they remember me for good reasons and not because I'm someone they're trying to avoid...)

reflection

My head is filled with ideas... and yet I may have just found the simple focus I need. Dr. Gil Noam designed a model he calls PEAR, and it's simple enough to work but complex enough to pack a punch. This is the model I think we'll use this year to sort of focus what we're trying to do. It is based on a 4 leaf clover, with 4 aspects that should be considered: active engagement, assertiveness, belonging, reflection. I can build lessons, curriculum, and programs around all of those models.

Other thoughts include using the 40 Developmental Assets that the SEARCH Institute have developed on a regular basis. These are measurable assets that have been proven to reduce risk behaviors; research has also shown these assets can be improved and taught.

I've got ideas on our schedule, what classes we can teach, how I can improve my classes, how to use these little white boxes more effectively..... So many thoughts, so little time to process!

Perhaps most importantly, however, I've had a chance to meet and talk in depth with my new colleague. I feel really good about our ability to work together, to help each other, and to improve our program and the lives of our students.

I love this conference, and I am so very glad I came and that she could come with me. I think it's going to be a great year. Summer's not over yet, but I'll be ready when it is. Man, I heart my job...

stay tuned

Thank you, WB, for making sure I came to this conference. Next year you might want to join me... yes, it's that good.

Deets later.

my next Food Network star

One of the jobs that Boy has assumed this summer is starting the charcoal fire. It's not always easy acknowledging that the babies are growing up, but they are, and it's good to get some work out of them while we can. While starting the fire one night this week, he decided what he really wanted was Chinese, specifically teriyaki chicken. "So find a recipe and make it" I answered.


He did. He searched the net for a good recipe, and found one for fried rice, too. He also wanted spring rolls, and had a hard time finding one that had ingredients we could find in our very limited Asian foods isle, so I helped. (Which means I looked at a few recipes, and figured out enough to be able to wing it. That's a good skill to learn, too.)

Last night we made rice with dinner so we'd have leftovers for today. He put together the marinade for the chicken this afternoon, as "all-by-himself" as he could for the first time doing things like mincing ginger and chopping scallions. This evening, he assembled the spring rolls (cabbage, carrot, onion, garlic, and ginger sauteed and mixed with soy sauce and corn starch), including rolling them after I showed him how to do one. He cooked the rice as I deep fried the rolls (he's still afraid of a vat of oil, and I guess one should know one's limits when learning their way around the kitchen). He also convinced me to put the chicken on their sticks, and I cooked those on the fire he'd started before. "Let me get these plated before we take the pictures..." (I swear, I don't make this stuff up.)

It was delicious. Even more satisfying, though, was just how proud he was. He thought of the meal, figured out what we needed, prepped and cooked most of it. He also knows that he's got to learn to get over his dislike of raw meat and to get comfortable with the different heat sources. But he did get a better understanding of how to use his knife differently for different tasks, and how to follow a recipe and adapt it to your own likes and abilities. I don't think he's ready to take over full time kitchen duties, but he's not that far away. By the time he leaves home, I have no doubt that he'll be a great cook who can keep all those around him full and happy. Who knows? Maybe this will be the meal that he looks back on and says "It all started because I wanted some Chicken on a Stick..."

I'm proud of you, Boy. You figured it out and you did it. Sometimes that's all cooking really is-- knowing what you want and then figuring out how to get there. Fresh ingredients help, but confidence is also required. You can't be a good cook if you don't believe you are one. And you can practice on us anytime you want.

***It should also be noted that he normally picks around certain veggies, including peppers and onions, both of which were in the rice. It would seem that when you cut them yourself, you're more likely to give them a try, as Girly still tried to eat around hers. She's a few years away, though, so I guess I'll just wait and see.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

at the top of the hill

WB pointed out to me that we're at the half-way point of summer, but sure doesn't feel that way. I guess the 3 day R3 conference I'm attending next week and the 7.5 days of work scheduled for August are coloring my view. Regardless, the math doesn't lie, and here we are. Katie agrees.

Bestfriend dubbed this "The Summer of No Regrets", and I do believe it's an apt title. We've gone to DC to meet up with my siblings and to Quebec City as just us. We've had lazy days around the house and have taken off in an attempt to find a body of water. We've watched Wimbledon, World Cup, Tour de France, and baseball. We've been to weddings and hung around with friends. We've cooked, grilled, canned, and enjoyed the bounty from WB's garden. The kids have socialized here, there, and everywhere. And the sun has shone through most of it... yes, there have been no regrets this summer.

We still have a month to go, and even with the work days creeping in, we have much left to do. We go to the Cape with WB's sister next week. Our party is coming up (are you coming???), as are other gatherings. And we still have a month of evenings to sit around and not worry about what time it is and what we need to wear when we get up. No regrets, baby.

learn from the master

http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2010/07/20/dean/

Many of my readers are sports fans, and many are not. All of you, however, are readers. Do yourself a favor, no matter where you place yourself on this divide, and read the above article. Joe Posnanski is an amazing writer. He's mostly a baseball writer, and I am most certainly not a reader of baseball blogs, but he is on my Reader: when he writes about other topics it is so worth my time. I promise it will be worth yours.

Since my sister headed off to UNC for college, I have been a fan of Coach Dean. I consider myself lucky to have been at a UNC/Virgina game in the Dean Dome (I even snuck in on one of her roommate's student passes-- I felt like such a rebellious college kid!) while he was still coaching. I won a basketball pool based on the infamous Chris Webber timeout call. The man is all class, and always has been. I did not know just how classy until I read this article, but knowing that he recruited the first African American scholarship player in North Carolina was all I ever really needed to know.

One of the diseases that scares me is dementia. I've always been known for my memory (certain friends call me when they need a phone number because it's quicker to ask me than to look it up) and the idea of losing that mental edge is worrisome. That the Fates subscribe to irony is certainly distressing, and they seem to have thrown their hats into this match. It is incredibly sad that he can't remember everything anymore, but he seems to be handling it with the grace with which he handled every other event in his life. It is comforting to know, however that the man does live up to his legend.

Forget about me... just go read Poz's post.

old roads

I've been fascinated with old roads for quite a few years. Maine has a lot of them; somewhere along the way DOT decided the original road needed to be straightened, but there were already houses on it, so they left it behind and built the new line around it. Some are easy to find ("Old County Road" sits to the right of "County Road") and some you need to look for other clues, like a bunch of houses that look like they were built facing backwards. When I find one and figure it out, it just makes me happy.

Yesterday we visited my parents and my brother, and I think I identified the source of this fascination. When we moved to town in 1978, they were in the process of changing the road. I don't remember it specifically, but there was the side road, just beyond the turnpike, that runs about a half a mile and dead ends each way, with a huge old farm at one end that is obviously facing the wrong way. I remember asking my mom about it, and suddenly, I could see where the road used to come in front of the remaining houses. I could see the path the old bridge took and how those yards on the other side were affected by the change. And I've been looking for them ever since.

(And yes, I did find old 173 SUD as we were driving home from Quebec City...)

Je me souviens

Since the beginning of our relationship, music has been key. We are famous for heading off to Boston on a random Tuesday night to see some band no one else has heard of... and then driving back home and teaching the next day. We started taking the kids with us when they were 4 and 6. We were on our way to a family reunion, flying out of NH... so when a triple bill of some favorites were playing 30 min away the night before our trip started, we couldn't refuse. So, when we were trying to figure out what to do for our 15th anniversary, we started with music.

WB found our current favorite family band performing at the summer festival in Quebec City, a city he loves and the rest of us had never seen. Because it was in honor of our anniversary, we splurged on a hotel room. I must say, I do like the summer mode of concerts... being able to walk back to the room and be comfortable and asleep within 15 minutes is much more fun than fighting to stay awake as we drive back home. But I digress...


Arcade Fire ROCKED! They played many of our favorites (WB called 2 of their first 3 numbers) and generally made everyone happy to be alive. One of the band members was born in Canada, butonly because her family escaped Haiti's dictatorship. The band has worked to help with earthquake damage, and launched kanpe that day, a charity dedicated to helping improve life for Haitians. We certainly love us a good band, but it makes it even more endearing when said band has a social agenda and uses their influence to make the world a better place. The Festival is donating .25 per person who attended this show, and Arcade Fire is matching up to 1 million given through a text donation number (sadly, it seems this only works in Canada). It really was the perfect way to honor our lives together as a family.


Tuesday morning we wandered around and checked out the Old City. It's a relaxed sort of place-- there's no rush, few lines... you just wander around and check out what intrigues you. And so we did. The kids found oversized lollipops, I found some postcards, and WB showed us different places of note. My lack of knowledge of the hometown language certainly hindered my ability to read up on the history of things-- many signs are printed in both languages, but not all. I was keenly aware of my language deficit, although all the shop owners and waitstaff were fluent in English. This trip did cement the idea in the kids heads that being bi-lingual is a good thing, be it in French or in Spanish. (The 2 years of Latin that I took most certainly did not help me this week!)

There is a good chance that both kids will return to Quebec City on 8th grade trips and that we will return ourselves. I may, however, need to sit in on a French immersion class first... I don't like feeling like the Ugly American who refuses to try to conform to the native culture.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

lightbulbs

So many things have started to make sense. I didn't know they hadn't made sense before, but sometimes the light bulb just gets shocked on, and then, suddenly, you know. Nothing has changed, but everything is different.

When I'm in the middle of something, something real and true, I never think about it being temporary. I guess if I thought about it, it would no longer be real, but would become a thing to hold onto somehow, and the magic would end. But looking back is sometimes so painful that it brings tears to my eyes because I miss it so. I've been lucky enough to have a few of these somethings over my relatively short life; usually the path-altering event is a sudden one-- something I, anyway, didn't see coming at the time, but can clearly see now. Something which, once occurred, throws everything under water and you hope to bob back to the surface, breathing, able to find shore somewhere. The scars do heal, with time, and the lessons to be learned emerge from the carnage, but still, some days you think back at how perfect that time was...

I've also missed some things along the way, and for that, I sincerely apologize. Not for not doing anything, because you can't react to something you don't know exists, but for not listening to that quiet voice that said something isn't quite right, and for not trusting it enough to investigate. I hope you know that I'm better at listening to that voice now; I'm sure it helps that I'm regularly getting full nights of sleep. But I know I still miss things; if you need my help and I'm not listening, knock me upside the head.

Sixteen years ago I agreed to bind my life to his, forever. I didn't really understand what that meant-- I understood the words, and the concept, but how can you understand something you've never done? Somehow or another, we've figured out how to navigate this crazy road, construction, right turns and everything else. Three years ago, bestfriend said "I do" for the second time. Which of us was braver? Crazier? Neither and both, I would answer, depending on the day. This summer, one of the next generation is saying I choose you, to be with me, forever. They are kids... like we were... but different, too, and as ready as they can be. I hope my little role in her childhood has helped prepare her, and if she needs help along her journey, I hope she will feel comfortable enough to ask, because we never stop needing the influence of those who have trod along ahead of us.

I started watching Saving Grace again, from the pilot, this summer. Grace has some demons... and some angels, too. I am lucky enough to not need a Last Chance Angel, nor to have met Satan himself. But I have loved my friends and family completely and without bias, and hope that that small part has made their journey easier. Ham tells Grace he will wait for her, and Rhetta trusts her truth without details to prove it. That I can do. I will continue to do. I may not have known at the time, but I know now, and I am here to help.

dip me in the water

Different places have different smells. You know what I'm talking about-- ocean air is heavy with an undertone of Coppertone and fried seafood; public pools have a harsh chemical smell where private ones smell clean; isolated ponds with little direct sun smell cold and untouched. Babbling streams where the unexposed rocks are coated with slippery flora but have been smoothed by the passage of time have a distinct smell as well. It's harder for me to describe, but the closest I can come is understated. Beautiful, yes, but in a quiet, confident way, without needing hundreds of people lining it's shores saying so.

Today, we set out in search of water, and ended up here. Once we'd slid down the little hill to the shoreline, my nose confirmed that we had, indeed, found the place of which we were seeking.

4th of July

4th of July, X

She's waitin' for me when I get home from work
oh, but things ain't just the same
She turns out the light and cries in the dark
won't answer when I call her name

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone
Mexican kids are shootin' fireworks below
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July

She gives me her cheek when I want her lips
but I don't have the strength to go
On the lost side of town in a dark apartment
we gave up trying so long ago

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone
Mexican kids are shootin' fireworks below
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July

What ever happened I apologize
so dry your tears and baby
walk outside, it's the Fourth of July

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone
Mexican kids are shootin' fireworks below
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July
Hey baby, it's the Fourth of July
Hey baby, Baby take a walk outside

{this moment}

A Friday ritual from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

the fortnight

In the past week, we've watched hours of World Cup, Wimbledon, USA Track and Field Championships, and the Tour de France starts soon.

This is my kind of daytime TV!

it is so very good to be back in my kitchen

Our task for bestfriend supper at their house. Baking? Yes, I think I will, thank you.

DC

Last summer, as many of you know, my brother in law mentioned they were considering a trip to DC after they visited his family in Tarheel country. "If you're on the East Coast, we'll come see you" I casually replied.

And so they were, and so we did. Big Little Sis is spending her summer driving from coast to coast, seeing all her peeps before she heads to China (yes, the country) to teach, and she joined us. And there we were: 3 sisters, 2 husbands, and 5 cousins ranging in age from 1.5 -12.5 years old.

It was a great trip. Since WB's friend from forever ago lives in the greater DC area and has been inviting us to visit for years, we spent our first 2 days in the city with them. We took in a Nationals game, as we're on a lifetime quest to attend games in all the major league ballparks. Our seats were on the first base side, which meant there was no shade. 4:05 start means it's still 90-something degrees out with some insane amount of humidity. And did I mention no shade? The game wasn't really captivating, and you know conditions are less than idyllic when WB is ready to go in the 7th inning. But we've been there, and it was an event Long Time Friends had not attended, so it's good we went.

Because my sister's family is younger than ours, we decided to do the Holocaust Museum without them. It was incredibly well done, and filled with overwhelming images. Both of our kids read Number the Stars by Lois Lowry, and there is a fishing boat from Denmark on display, along with a white wall with names of people who helped those targeted by the Nazis. It was a heavy morning for sure, but well worth it. The museum's motto-- the next time you witness hatred... the next time you see injustice... the next time you hear about genocide... THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW-- is exactly the message we need to get out, and while I know I can teach that without taking the kids to see such things, the images help.


The rest of the trip was lighter. Over 4 days, we got to a bunch of Smithsonians: Natural History, American History, Air and Space, Native American (eat here, seriously. The food was AMAZING.) and the National Museum of Art. We did a double decker bus tour of the city, taking us from Union Station past the Capitol, around the National Mall, by the White House, out to the National Cathedral, and through Embassy Row into Arlington National Cemetery. We walked the Mall, visiting WW2 Monument, Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial. I took a bazillion pictures of Capitol Hill and the Washington Monument. On our way out of town, I was determined to find the Japanese American Monument. I'd seen signs for it, and we drove by it on the bus tour, but it's exact location eluded me. Luckily Big Little Sis had her iPhone, and got the address for me, and as we checked out of the hotel I realized it was on the opposite corner from us, and that I'd walked by it 3 times without realizing it. I taught both the Holocaust and Farewell to Manzanar (memoir of a child who lived in an internment camp) this year, so getting to both these places was significant to me. The message, again, is we cannot let fear and hatred rule. I am certainly doing all I can to get that message out.

We ended up staying at 2 different hotels, partly because we used Priceline and couldn't get one bid for all 3 nights, and partly so we could be near the Capitol so we could hear the Air Force band play from the Capitol steps. The weather had other plans however, and the concert was canceled as the thunder rolled in. We did, however, get to spend the afternoon playing in the rooftop pool, so the move wasn't a total loss.

I am so thankful we took this trip, and that our families get along well enough that we want to spend time together. They have lived on the Left coast since they started having children, and we have only lived here; finding time for the kids to get to know each other is not always easy, but it is something we're all committed to making happen. My goal for this trip was to see my nephews and my family, but I also got to see more of DC than I'd expected. And I got to watch the Two Cathedral's episode of The West Wing in the city. Yea, it was a great trip.


Bonus! I loved doing trip updates so much last summer, but I didn't bring my laptop this time (4 beds in 5 days, needing to walk from one to the other, so I packed very light. If you can tell me what happened in the Two Cathedrals episode and why it was even more significant given our sightseeing, you'll win a picture of your choice. Check out FB for your options.

{this moment}

An idea from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

{this moment}

An idea from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. This is from a few weeks ago, but it still works for me.

the end of school means the beginning of summer

Closing Time, Semisonic

Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world.
Closing time, turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl.
Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from.
Closing time, this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters
come.
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits - I hope you have found
a friend.
Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Calling All Angels

I woke up singing this song this morning, wondering what my subconscious was telling me. I did not have to wonder long. When I got to school I learned that a former graduate of our school passed away last night as the result of a car accident. She was a tangential Sunshine-- I never had her in class, but she was friends with many, many of mine. To say we are in shock is an understatement.

Earlier this spring WB and I were discussing contract negotiations (he's on the team). They had come to agreement about the length of bereavement leave stipulated in the contract: we acknowledged that in many ways you just have to pick a number, because how can you put a timeline on grief? I have been amazingly lucky to have been spared close impact on many tragedies, although they are getting closer. I pray that I continue to be lucky and be spared immediate tragedy; I also pray that my Sunshines remember that I am always on their shoulder and want them to make smart choices. I do not know what caused the accident, but I do know how teens view driving. I need them to remember that while they feel invincible, they are not all so. Don't speed. Don't drink and drive. Don't ride with someone who has been drinking. Don't drink, for that matter. Don't text and drive. Please, please, please don't die.

calling all angels, calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
callin' all angels, callin' all angels
we're tryin', we're hopin', we're hurtin', we're lovin', we're cryin', we're callin'
'cause we're not sure how this goes

I hope she is at peace, and that she did not die in vain.

it's 9:00 PM

and it's still light out. I am not one who suffers from SAD, but I am one who loves lazy summer meals by the fire with friends. Who loves sleeping in and having no worries about what day it is. And this light means those things are not that far away.

{another moment}

I'm making a ridiculous face, but it's not about me. This week was crazy, and I'm just thankful to have gotten everyone in pictures, even if not all together. Sometimes you take what you can get and you are forever grateful.

{this moment}

An idea from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment to pause, savor and remember.

no no drama

I don't know why, but Senior Drama is even more dramatic this year than usual. And it's not just my Sunshines, it's all of them.

I am so looking forward to Friday at 6 PM. And then again, I'm not, because I'm going to miss these Sunshines...

{this moment}

An idea from my friend Wendy, who got it from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment to pause, savor and remember.

"You don't want to pick a song everyone else is using..."

I still feel this way, 15 years later. (Well, if you translate for gender...)

Somebody, Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it

Georgia on my mind

If I'd wanted to live in an area with 90 degree temps and 70% humidity I'd have moved to Georgia.

(I also didn't want to live in an area where school districts were mega-districts organized by county, but I guess I lost that battle, too.)

I guess I'll just have to think about fresh peaches and Vidalia onions...

super defined?

Today I went to work, wrote a job recommendation, listened and advised on a medical situation, stopped in at practice to give thoughts and inspiration as I was leaving the team for my kid, got to the ms track meet in time to see all 4 of Boy's events, and got to the talent show in time to see Girly dance. When we got home, I did dishes while making dinner and started a load of laundry. We ate at 8:30. In my understanding, this is the definition of a "super woman"; the question that keeps bugging me is why don't I feel so super?

half full, half crazy.

There's lots going on, and it's been easier to stay silent than to take the time to think about it... but not thinking about it is starting to feel like ignoring it, and I do not like that feeling.

Where to start? Vizzini told me to go back to the beginning... no, that's someone else. But I've been told the beginning is a very good place to start, so...

Sunshines are inching their way towards those caps and gowns. Right now, 20% of the seniors will be back for a 9th semester. I'm confident that, baring a major catastrophe (which we all know could happen at any time, without notice) 70% will graduate with their class, and 10% need to man up to get through the last 15 days of senior classes. Every year, we get an extra Sunshine Wannabe or two join in for the constant prodding; this year's participant is asking to get full Sunshine status... which is a bit late in the game, but we'll do what we can to help meet the June 11 deadline. Along with senior crazies, we still have issues with people hitting their proverbial walls and needing a lot of support to make it through. To say things are a bit hectic is the understatement of the month. The good news, though, is that I still can't imagine doing any other job. Let's hope I get the opportunity to relive this for 20 more years... I know, 20 years until retirement? That is an insane number in and of itself.

The real distractor, though, is personal. In short, WB's parents aren't getting any younger, and our involvement in their day to day lives is going to need to increase. I had it described to me as 'the Sandwhich Years'-- your kids still need your attention, but your parents need it too. It's not a fun time by any stretch, but I'm trying to maintain a very zen approach to it. It is what it is, and you don't get to choose everything that happens in your life. You do, however, get to choose how you react. I choose to view my role as a helpful one, to my husband and his family. While I don't see myself as a martyr, I do see this as a learning opportunity for all of us: people need different kinds of help at different times in their lives. Some kids need help graduating, and some elderly need help negotiating the medical world. If you're lucky (which I really have been) you get a chance to use your strengths to help Pay it Forward, all while maintaining a healthy sense of humor yourself. So far, so good...

As I was saying....

Privilege clouds judgement.

May 10th, 2010 Jessica Hagy Posted in inequality |

there but for the grace of God...

I just finished The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls; it's her memoir of growing up poorer than poor and having survived. Resilience is a fascinating thing: how do some siblings survive, but not all? Why do some kids "make it" while others repeat history? Most importantly, what can I do to teach resiliency?

If I can answer that last question, not only would I be able to take my show on the road, but I'd also be able to help a kid or two along the way. More than conjugating verbs or solving quadratic equations, the ability to soldier on in the face of defeat is what makes someone successful. That is what I want to teach kids; to believe in themselves and to find a way to get where they're going, no matter the odds.

So as I sit here in my house with running water and heat and electricity, surrounded by creature comforts and filled with good food and unconditional love, know that I do appreciate it all. My life is incredible, and all I did to get it was to be born to people who also had it. Luckily, I'll never know if I could have survived a childhood of abject poverty or one of disheartening neglect. I do know I'll do the best I can with what I've been given, because to waste the gift would be just plain wrong.

we're all frustrated

I've said it before and I'll say it again: giving the SAT to all juniors causes more problems that it solves. Thanks, DOE, for undoing a lot of the work I've done this year. I love being party to making my students feel stupid.

straight from the Sunshine's mouth

I realize I've gone a bit quiet around here, and that is because we still have issues that really cannot be discussed publicly, and I'm really not very good at keeping things to myself, so it's better to say nothing at all. Given that disclaimer, however, things coming out of April break were better than in February. Which is a very good thing, indeed.

This week one Sunshine paid us a very high compliment. We were discussing the varied bits of drama impacting everyone and I said something about their experiences breaking my heart because they're just too young to have to deal with these problems. He looked at me and said "Yea, but you make it better." It took a minute for that to sink in, so he said it again: "We come to school because being here makes it better. We wouldn't come if it didn't." And since I know he has had issues with truancy (many of them have), I know he's not kidding. They've learned how to avoid the things that make their lives harder and to stick with things that make them feel better (even if these things do not really make them better). That they come to school-- want to come to school-- is huge. That they will call and say they've missed the bus and need a ride if we can find them one... sometimes I miss the message they are really sending. They want to be at school. We have created a space where they feel valued, and it has value to them. I will own all the criticism about the level of academic output, but I will not let anyone say that our program is a joke or a waste of time. I have the data to prove it.

that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger

As you all (probably) know, WB was gone on a trip to a foreign country. He went as a chaperone with a school group doing service work. He loves to travel, and I very much don't, which is why he went and I stayed home with our kids (who were not allowed to participate due to age).

We've been apart before, for various courses and opportunities. What we didn't expect was the inability to talk daily. I think it was a full 7 days from when he left home to when we first talked online. I am a very social creature, so I had a very hard time not telling him about all the things that happened in my day. Most of the stuff was trivial-- so-and-so called, your magazine came in the mail-- but I missed telling him those things.

A friend of ours husband is serving overseas, and she has been on her own since the start of the school year. I thought of her, and him, and their kids, constantly throughout our little separation. What right did I have to complain about 8 days, when he wasn't ever really in danger? It could always be worse (which I'm sure our friends are also thinking) and you take what life throws your way and learn from it. Did I miss him? You bet. Was it the end of the world that we had a mini-vacation from each other? Not even close. Had we realized we didn't miss each other at all, well, that would have been tragic.

big time?

http://www.aeaofme.org/annual-conference

Does this mean I know what I'm doing?

To All Maine Points

It could be my most favorite sight in all the land.

Too bad I was zipping by at 70-something and couldn't snap a shot.

coping skills

When Boy was a baby, WB and I rarely needed a sitter (sitters require money...). When we would call on someone to come hang with him, we'd fill them in with all the deets, including bedtime. We quickly learned, however, that what they really needed to know was that Boy would just go to sleep when we left. Not immediately, but he'd play a bit, and have some dinner, and right after eating, he was done. For the night. The first few times the sitters were worried they'd done something wrong, but the best we could figure was he missed us, and knew if he went to sleep he would feel better. (I know, amazing coping skills for an 8 month old!)

As you all know, I've been dealing with a lot of Sunshine related drama, and one of the main themes is the distinct lack of coping skills. Either they don't know how to cope with the given situation, or don't have the energy to, or don't really care to, but the lack of coping causes as many problems as the issue at hand. But we debrief a lot about what they could have done, what they could do next time, and most importantly, how to avoid the situation in the future. I'm under no delusions that I wave my magic wand and *poof* everything is fixed, but it certainly won't get any worse by me trying.

I was chatting with my Little Big Sis this week, and I realized that I am running a national campaign that I didn't even know existed! Last year one of my girls came up with "Buckaroo on your shoulder". It even comes with hand movements: hold your thumb and forefinger about 2 inches apart, and then put it up on your shoulder. That's where I sit, all day, every day, ready to give you advice when you need it (kinda like WWJD? but without insinuating that I'm God-like). Should I get in the vehicle with this person I know has been drinking? Buckaroo on your shoulder thinks probably not. You might still choose to get in the truck, but you at least thought about it, for a minute, and owned the decision. Nationally, I guess it's called the Pause Campaign. Who knew?

Coping skills are huge. Without them, you feel out of control, often look out of control, and can end up looking less competent than you really are (I'll never forget the PET I left in hysterical tears when I got some bad infertility news. It was soon after that I resigned my teaching postion to focus on becoming a parent.) But when you've got the right skill for the right situation, you come out looking like a genius.

WB left for the Dominican Republic last night, and will be gone for a week or so. While I was making dinner tonight, I suddenly realized Boy was asleep on the couch. That kid knows how to cope.

I like these kinda Mondays.

Compared to recent days, today was pretty normal. CrazyBusy, as I think will be the theme until the Seniors are gone, but no major drama to process through.

Can I get a what what?

I hope to return to my regularly scheduled thoughtful blogging soon.

following Dory's advice

So many things happening, and I'm truly at a loss for how to proceed. But proceed I will, probably making mistakes along the way. Because giving up doesn't solve the problems. And the problems I'm talking about aren't just how to make your budget balance, so not finding solutions is not an option.

Just keep swimming indeed.

climate change

Anyone who does not realize that global climate change is real is hiding their head the the ever warming sand. I can't ever remember hanging clothes on my line before April vacation-- and even then I have to be very aware of the remaining snowbanks. This little patch of snow is the only patch I can find on our property: I'm sure there is some hidden in the woods, but I haven't gone looking. We should have grilled Easter dinner today instead of roasting-- but mentally I was not prepared for the weather. Regardless, it's been a nice stretch of weather, and even when the temps return to normal next week we've still crossed a line that can't be uncrossed. Summer is coming...

happy birthday to me

Today the tens place changes a digit. I'll be honest, it did mess with my head a bit. Girly asked me if I felt any different, and it was hard to answer her. I do feel different... but how to explain that to a 10 year old? For the first time, I feel thankful to have made it to this birthday, because many others don't. I feel confident in who I am and what I believe in. I feel... grounded. I feel at peace.

Forty feels pretty good.

truth speaking louder than words

Boys do cry.

March 29th, 2010 Jessica Hagy Posted in perception |

what the heck?

I've got to figure out what's bugging me. Earlier this week I had a nightmare that I was fighting with one of my friends (I think over another friend, but I can't confirm that). Those are my version of 'back to school' dreams; most of my friends have the teaching naked or forgetting to take a test variety, I have the fighting with my besties kind. And tonight when I headed to the doc for a quick check up, my BP was 150-something over 90-something. I know! It could be the large coffee... but it's more likely something bugging me that I haven't yet identified (see yesterday). I gotta figure it out soon, 'cause girlfriend doesn't like those numbers. At all.

(Friends who are nurses: don't be surprised if I bug you to do random BP tests on me!)

and the world keeps turning...

There's a lot happening on many fronts and I haven't been able to slow down the whirlwind enough to put it into words. Personally things are good, albeit a bit busy. Vocationally things are also good, but there are a lot of needs to be met that can't easily be met. Socially I am blessed with a lot of good friends and people to step up and help out.

When the world stops spinning long enough to catch my breath I'll update you.

"and the worst part of my day is someone couldn't conjugate a verb!"

Which is why it's good for me to have regular ed buddies with whom to share my stories, and reged buddies to come hang with us.

Today found a bunch of Sunshines with somebody having put something in their collective cheerios, and by the end of the day they were just going for shock value. Luckily, I can't be shocked easily. (Which is shocking, considering my unbelievably innocent childhood.) We got through it, and tomorrow we'll need some sort of a change, although just what that is remains to be discovered. But cries for attention happen for a reason, and so attention shall be given... as soon as I figure out just what it is they're trying to get me to notice about them.

Still, amidst the mayhem, I cannot imagine having any other job but this. While a vacation in an purely academic classroom might be welcome every so often, I do love the challenges our world brings.

Are teachers born or made? Discuss.

Today is my second blogiversary. Not only am I excited to still be writing regularly, but I'm also thrilled to still have some readers out here. So thanks for caring enough to have me on your Reader.

I was sent this link today, and since most of you are teachers (either paid or otherwise) I thought I'd share. It's a 9 pager, so you grad students may feel like it's a homework assignment; it's not, but I am interested in what you all think. Feel free to discuss.

Building a Better Teacher

(For the record, that's the first time I've ever changed the title to a link. Why not on my blogiversary?)

thoughts

There's a lot going on at school these days, and I'm happy to report it does NOT just involve the Sunshines. Yes, our world is still pretty chaotic-- I'd say we have a half a dozen major personal catastrophes going on-- but the main drama at the big school is not anything that had anything to do with any of us. So there.

I did have a thought last night, though, to try to run an after school study session kind of thing next year. The vision is I'd be here to either run a book club, or to let the graduates have access to computers and resume skills and anything else they need. Come read my newspapers and look for jobs. Come talk to me about a book you've read, or that we read together. Or just come talk to me.

I know I'll be alone most afternoons. But if one kid comes back to one session and I can actually be a resource for life long learning? Yea, that would be something.

amazing engineers

Today was one of those crazy days that we really kind of enjoy. We started with archery, where Boy actually had a pretty productive class. From there we flew up to Orono to the Engineers Fair. Both kids were pretty excited to check it out again (last year we saw it at USM; it's like State Championship games, it seems, alternating college field houses each year). The fair is basically advertising and recruiting for engineering programs-- look at the robots doing their jobs! play with the static electricity machines! clean up the dirty water! design your own bridge!-- but it's a lot of fun, even for the non-engineering wannabees among us. After that, we took a tour around campus. I mean, you don't go to an engineering fair 100 miles from home and not at least drive around the campus. WB pointed out the main sights-- he'd taken a tour with his students a few years back, so even though GEAR UP! is no longer in the building, our kids will still reap the benefits.

We stopped for dinner at 99s, and I'm sad to say that we will not always be back for more. First of all, they're a Pepsi joint (no wonder I rarely eat there), and it was really wasn't a margarita kind of day. I felt bad for our pour waiter-- he seemed like he's lost his corporate job somewhere and was doing something to make ends meet, but he wasn't actually very good at this gig. The kicker, though, was the off-duty waitress at the table next to us, chillin with her peeps. It was just so... high school. The manager came over and spoke to them twice, and they finally gathered their things and stopped embarassing the establishment. The food was fine, but it was the kind of experience that makes you realize never is enough. The $.99 Coke from Dysarts was just what I needed for the drive back home.

When we got home, Girly created her own soap on a rope out of the free bar she got from the birthday sleepover and a piece of holiday ribbon. Maybe these fairs are impacting her more than we realize?

and just like that

I was feeling pretty good heading into Feb vacation with only 2 storm days. It's not yet March and we're up to 4. Just like that. If June is as rainy as it's been in past years, then I guess having school until the 16th won't be horrible, but I'm more worried about meeting up with my sister (maybe sisters?) in DC by the 22nd. I know it's all out of my control and there's nothing I can do to fix it, but I sure hope it all works out.

I'm gonna go have a cup of coffee and watch The Cash Cab. Because what else do you do on the second storm day in a row?

... and Tuesday's just as bad

It's been a rough week, and it's only Tuesday. Sometimes I forget that the lives my Sunshines lead are different than mine. That vacation is not always fun and happy and filled with good memories. There's a lot of debriefing that happens in the few days after vacation, and much of it leaves my heart broken into pieces. But we plod along, and work really hard to find relevant topics to both their academic needs and their personal lives. And feed them and get them access to social services and care about them. You can never have too many caring adults in your corner. Even when you're almost 40 and have had a emotionally rough week...and it's only Tuesday.

gag me with a toothbrush

I hate brushing my teeth. Hate it. Makes me gag on a regular basis-- I've even thrown up as a result, which is a pain since I have to just brush again. Changing toothpaste is a recipe for disaster, and nothing is worse than getting to the store and finding my tried-and-true brand is new-and-improved! Different water is bad too; chlorine is also a smell that makes me gag, so put the two together and it is not pretty.

I love to visit friends, but it is a bit of a challenge for me to keep up good dental hygiene. As I was packing to head to Belfast, I was putting way too much energy into a situation that should have been as simple as remembering to bring a tooth brush. I could just make all my visits day trips, but that's not fun. The easiest solution would be to just not brush my teeth, but I think we can all agree that it's not a good idea. And that's when it hit me: the easiest solution is not necessarily your favorite solution, but if the other options don't seem viable, it becomes the only solution. If you've grown up in a household where everyone smokes, and then you start smoking... and then one day you decide you really should quit, but it's all around you so quitting will be really, really hard... it is just so much easier to keep smoking. Or not exercising, or swearing, or fighting or... any of the many things that keep my Sunshines from moving forward.

My job is to help them figure out their plan, so that instead of not brushing they bring their own water in addition to their own toothpaste. Sounds simple, huh? But really, that is my job-- to help my kids figure out what is holding them back and how to move around it in an acceptable way. After I brush my teeth, of course...

any day above ground is a great day

And today definitely was great.

We've been talking about going ice fishing every winter since I was hired. For a whole bunch of reasons, it never came together. This time, it did. We teamed up with our middle school counterparts and went to my former colleague's ice shack for the day. Our two programs started teaming up for field trips when he took over at the middle school; sadly, he's battling cancer at the moment so is unable to teach... but he can still catch a mean fish. He's come back to visit us a few times this school year, so it was really nice to meet up with him on his turf.

We had a wonderful day! Bright sun, warm(ish) temps... although the wind was a bit brisque, the conditions were pleasant. 13 students from both programs took us up on the offer, and they weren't disappointed. We brought along some ice skates, and they skated and laughed and fished and laughed... all the while enjoying the great outdoors with some great friends.

Days like these are where the magic really happens: they let down their collective guard and just enjoy being kids. For those of us watching them struggle with the transition from childhood to adulthood, being able to provide them with positive experiences -- and positive memories-- means expanding their horizons just a bit... and that little expansion has the potential to change their future. For me personally, watching kids thrive in their natural element is so rewarding. I'm under no delusions that any of my Sunshines love being in any class, even if it is mine, so to see them content makes those frustrating classroom days a lot easier to take. And the major life lessons learned on days like this-- that there are positive things to do with your time that don't harm your bodies or minds; that excercise and being outdoors is good for the soul; that lauging with friends is a great way to spend a day; and that going out of your way to meet up with someone who needs a visit is never a wasted trip-- well, what better thing can schools teach?

My friend says repeatedly that "I may not be here for a long time, but I'm definitely here for a good time". He's on a break from treatments, and is enjoying every minute before he starts up again in May. I have no doubt that we will all remember today as one of those good times.

recipe exchange

Fellow RVBer SJ posted her homemade recipe tonight, which has inspired me to write the post I meant to write Friday night but didn't. The kids were off with their buds for a Geek Party, so it was a stay home date night for us. I found some bay scallops (from when they were on sale) and some left over lobster butter (from this summer) in the freezer. I melted the butter-- probably 4ish tbls-- and put it in the bottom of a small casserole dish, along with a chopped and cooked piece of bacon. An even layer of scallops on the top-- I'm going to guess 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound. Garlic salt, pepper, panko bread crumbs (1/4 cup or so) and fresh parmesan cheese (2 tbls) topped it. Into the oven for 30 or so minutes at 325... delightful.

Along with the baked scallops, we had brussell sprouts with bacon, which is another recipe I created based on a Cooking Light idea, and it's different every time depending on what we have at home for stock. Fry up a piece of bacon, and then add halved sprouts. Cook them for about 5 minutes in the bacon fat, and then add chicken (or whatever you have) stock-- probably a cup or so-- and let the stock boil down, coating the sprouts in a tasty coating.

It was definitely a grown up meal, made even more satisfying by being able to put it all together sans recipes. Feel free to add these to your rotation...

how do you spell relief?

G-R-E-E-N Z-O-N-E

Ok, so again dating myself by referencing said commercial, but unless one has been the parent of a super sick child, it's hard to understand the palpable sense of relief you feel when said child is getting better. Today, when Girly got home from school and told me "I blew 250!" I almost fell over.

Let me explain:
She is now old enough to use a peak flow meter to monitor the efficiency of her lungs. Anything in the red zone (120 or below), we call the doctor; yellow zone (120-180) we use nebulizers and emergency inhalers at home, and in the green zone (180 and above) she is considered fine (although I sometimes wonder if she always walks around with less oxygen than the rest of us, and so doesn't realize she's always struggling.) She has spent the week at 120-140, and we've been nebbing ever 4 hours and in a semi-freaked out state. Yellow zone tends to mean no school because she really can't move much at all and still get enough oxygen to cope, and that was certainly true this week. So today, when she reached the green zone-- even after having had a neb-- it was cause for celebration. I made her repeat it an hour later, just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. No fluke. I'll need to see her in the green for over 24 hours before I completely relax, but relieved? Yes, I'd say so.

Add to this celebration good news from a friend, grades being done, LT meeting a thing of the past, tomorrow being Friday and vacation a week away... yes, I am quite relieved.

***UPDATE***
She is in the kitchen, dancing around with her brother. That tells more than any peak flow could...

(Dennis, my heart goes out to you... I pray it'll get better as she gets older...)

time passages

So I'll be the first to admit that January stretched on towards infinity, but how did it get to be February already? My new teacher buddy joined me today, and I can tell we're only going to get better and better as the new semester gets underway. Very exciting stuff.

Now, if we could just get Girly's lungs to work properly and get that milestone 100th day of school behind us, (2/25 if I'm counting right-- you elementary folks out there, please correct my math if I'm wrong!) it'll be track season before you know it, and then, BAM!, the silenced alarm clock for weeks on end...