As my friend SJ mentioned earlier, today started by shaking many of us up. I saw the accident, probably within moments of it's happening. I had one of those "this isn't good" feelings, and it was sadly right on. By 8:30 my mom heard the description on the news and called to confirm it was someone else. Other friends called or emailed later in the morning to check in. Many of the kids in my room are affected by the deaths; students and staff across our district are affected as well. We'll feel the vibrations from this for a while.
I've had lyrics from a couple of BNL songs running through my head. There's a line in Helicopters that starts "This is where my life changed in a day". I remember back to another tragedy that happened during my first teaching life, and how that family's life changed in a day. In a second. What if's surround everything... and there is no way of knowing why. How can this be part of a Master Plan? I can't believe all this pain is for the Greater Good... but it makes even less sense if it has no meaning at all.
Another song is about a fatal car accident. The refrain repeats "You're the last thing on my mind". It's a haunting song that always gives me chills, and I hope it never has any bearing on my life. You never know when it's your turn, however, which is probably a good thing. My dad stole a line from his friend, and I've heard it many times: there's not much you can do when it's your turn, but I just hope I'm not sitting on the plane next to you when your number's up. I'm sure it will be a while before I come down the hill and look right and not see the image planted in my head today. Like SJ, I'm thankful that this was not our fate today, and like the rest of the community my heart breaks for the families left behind.
Warren Zevon was dying of cancer the same summer Devon was, and his experience is, in my head, linked to hers. On his final Letterman appearance, Dave asked him if he knew anymore about life and death than the rest of us. His answer was that we should enjoy every sandwich. Today I was reminded of that, again.