in which my luck might be changing

Last night I was pulled over for having no left headlight nor rear left license plate light. The officer was very nice, and only gave me a verbal warning. Girly was a bit concerned, but it all worked out as it should have. I didn't even have a panic cry reaction! So it only cost me the embarrassment of being pulled over and the price of a couple of new lights. I'll take it over that plus a ticket any day.

enjoy every sandwich

As my friend SJ mentioned earlier, today started by shaking many of us up. I saw the accident, probably within moments of it's happening. I had one of those "this isn't good" feelings, and it was sadly right on. By 8:30 my mom heard the description on the news and called to confirm it was someone else. Other friends called or emailed later in the morning to check in. Many of the kids in my room are affected by the deaths; students and staff across our district are affected as well. We'll feel the vibrations from this for a while.

I've had lyrics from a couple of BNL songs running through my head. There's a line in Helicopters that starts "This is where my life changed in a day". I remember back to another tragedy that happened during my first teaching life, and how that family's life changed in a day. In a second. What if's surround everything... and there is no way of knowing why. How can this be part of a Master Plan? I can't believe all this pain is for the Greater Good... but it makes even less sense if it has no meaning at all.

Another song is about a fatal car accident. The refrain repeats "You're the last thing on my mind". It's a haunting song that always gives me chills, and I hope it never has any bearing on my life. You never know when it's your turn, however, which is probably a good thing. My dad stole a line from his friend, and I've heard it many times: there's not much you can do when it's your turn, but I just hope I'm not sitting on the plane next to you when your number's up. I'm sure it will be a while before I come down the hill and look right and not see the image planted in my head today. Like SJ, I'm thankful that this was not our fate today, and like the rest of the community my heart breaks for the families left behind.

Warren Zevon was dying of cancer the same summer Devon was, and his experience is, in my head, linked to hers. On his final Letterman appearance, Dave asked him if he knew anymore about life and death than the rest of us. His answer was that we should enjoy every sandwich. Today I was reminded of that, again.

be who you are

I went to high school with the gay guy in this video. I think he was in my sister's class, and I haven't thought about him in 20 years. I didn't know he was gay back then, but it wouldn't have mattered to me then nor does it now, except to say I'm excited that he survived our very white and very straight community and was able to get out and be himself and live his dreams.

desperate times

call for desperate measures! I found this log on the side of Rt 2 today on our way home from the Bangor Auditorium. So, I turned around and went back for it. It's bigger than it looks-- Girly rode next to it as it went all the way to the back of my seat! It was also very pitchy-- I bought a bottle of rubbing alcohol when we stopped in FarmTown for groceries. We were safely in the breakdown lane, so no logging trucks were going to kill us. It may only get us a day of heat, but that's one more day than we had-- and a free day at that!

oh what the heck... what's one more?

A List -- Scattegories Style

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and randomly tag 10 people (including me). Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Rachel
2. A four Letter Word: read
3. A boy's Name: Ryan
4. A girl's Name: Rebecca
5. An occupation: researcher
6. A color: red
7. Something you wear: ring
8. A food: raisin
9. Something found in the bathroom: rolls of tp
10. A place: Reed State Park
11. A reason for being late: resting
12. Something you shout: rats!
13. A movie title: Running Man?
14. Something you drink: rum
15. A musical group: Replacements
16. An animal: rat
17. A street name: River Rd.
18. A type of car: Renault
19. Something scary: republicans
20. Ice cream flavor: rum raisin

another one

Also stolen from Facebook. Posting here is double duty-- anyone not on FB can read, but those of you on get it twice. I don't care which one you read :)

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Mom just liked the name Rachel, Margaret is for my Dad's mom, grandmother, and great grandmother. They were all Margaret someones, and called the someone. Logical Mom decided to just name me what she was going to call me.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
"Ok, Buckaroo, thanks for being my teacher." Graduation. Gets me every time.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have horrible handwriting, but it is distinctive.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Tunafish that I've made with good mayo. Otherwise, I'm in a salami phase.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
All kinds. 2 I carried, 2 who I treat like I carried, and a whole bunch I teach all day.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Who, me?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Nope

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
oatmeal, but only sometimes. I really dont' like cereal.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No and I hate wearing shoes that have ties

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
chocolate chip cookie dough

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
probably their eyes-- I've never thought about it.

15. RED OR PINK?
turquoise over pink.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
that I can be overwhelming to shy people.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
living, my uncle. no longer living, my grandmother.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
tan pants and socks.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Jon Stewart

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
turquoise

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
anything baking, especially if vanilla is in it.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mike


26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NCAA Mens Basketball tourney. Love Dicky V and the Cinderella teams!

27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark Brown... turning gray :(

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. Tried once, hated the experience. Love my glasses.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Mexican

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Suspenseful, sure, but never scary.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
something from NetFlix.... NYPD Blue Season 1, Disk 1 I think

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Green turtleneck sweater

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer, but I don't hate winter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle for a high school adult book club

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
haven't had one since forever

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Lie To Me. It wasn't great, wasn't awful.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
laughter and love yous

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
California

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Sure. All kinds... :)

46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
Bangor, Maine

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
First time in anatomy lab my freshman/his junior year of college. For real, when he was coaching middle school soccer at school and my teacher friend made me say hi.

more from SJ

One Word... Or Maybe Two

Fill in the blanks and share, borrowed from Facebook.

Where is your cell phone.....coat pocket
your hair .........brown
Your father? ....... well read
Your favorite thing? …. modern comforts
Your dream last night?.... can't remember
Your favorite drink? ........... margarita
Your dream/goal? .......... financially solvent
The room you are in? .... living room
Your fear? ......... being hated
Where do you want to be in 6 years? right here
Muffins? ............. Yes!
One of your wish list items?......... no debt
Where you grew up? ........... Biddeford
The last thing you did? ...... checked Facebook
What are you wearing?....... favorite sweatshirt
Your TV?........... flat screen
Your pets? .......... kitty
Your computer? ...... school owned laptop
Your life? ......... great
Your mood? .......tired
Missing someone? ...... always
Your car? ........ toyota minivan
Favorite store?..... Goodwill!
Your summer? ....... freedom
Your favorite color? ........ turquoise
When is the last time you laughed? ........ hour ago
Last time you cried? ........ January graduation
Three of my favorite foods? ......... low salt chips, mexican, veggies
Three places I would rather be right now? .... Bozeman, MT, a friend's kitchen, warm beach

I give up

The washing machine died in mid cycle tonight. Soaking wet clothes, full of water, and dead. No idea why.

I am going to cry.

***UPDATE***
The little thingy that lives in the lid that pushes the button on the machine to tell it it's safe to agitate because the lid is down is gone. WB rigged something up to get it through. It was 11 PM when we discovered the problem. At least it's a relatively easy and inexpensive fix.

resolution season

For the first time in many, many years, I appear to be sticking to my resolutions. My chip consumption is way down. I haven't had a Coke since Christmas. I'm conscious of eating more fruit and veggies and less crap. I pay attention to portions. I'm moving more regularly, although sometimes life gets in the way of my workouts. And the biggest one is I am drinking a nalgene bottle of water daily.

Never in my life have I drank enough water. For a long time water alone would make me throw up-- partly because I used that technique to get through morning sickness: throwing up water is easier than crackers or apples or dry heaving. Now I actually find myself wanting my water bottle instead of forcing it down. That is growth.

I'm no where near as focused as Mike is. I don't chart my food, count calories, or have a full fledged workout routine. I'm trying to slowly encorporate healthy changes in a way that is sustainable. For now, it seems to be working. We do not have a working scale, so I don't know if I've lost weight, but my jeans don't feel as tight as they did at Christmas. I'm taking that as a good sign.

to explain

no, that would take to long.
To sum up:

oven ignitor
van windshield
broken water pipe underground
dead truck battery
2 kids referred for orthodonture
flat van tire, requiring 4 new tires to complete the fix

By my count that's 3 vehicle related incidents, 2 home related (which I am counting as 3 as it's the quick fix and then the real fix in the spring) and 2 kid related future expenses. So ... I guess the waiting continues.

change

I need our luck to change. Today started with a flat tire. Thanks to the generosity of my autobody shop owning neighbors, they changed my tire with their power tools and I was on my way again after only an hour. Had they not been there I think I would have had to call in the favors I've built up in my classroom. Anyway, I need this luck to change. I'm not sure the message the greater Cosmos is trying to send me, but I know you're telling me something.

Or maybe I just need to take a page from Katie's book and let it go and trust that this is all happening for a reason and it'll all work out, somehow, in the end.

***UPDATE***
4 new tires later, the van is ready for the coming snow.

I know it could be worse, but really, I just need a break.

Happy New Year!

Because we love to cook, I guess, we try to honor other culture's special holidays. Today is the Chinese New Year, I think the Year of the Ox. So, we set to cooking. I made Wonton Soup and WB made dumplings, using the same meat mixture he made last night for both. I also made a Long Life Noodles from Cooking Light (yes, I modified it by what I had in the fridge. Still authentic, but also using what's here.) And, just because I had splurged on Wonton wrappers, I made up a Crab Rangoon recipe. I'll need to work on that-- I think more cream cheese and some more flavor of some sort. Garlic? Ginger? Onion? We'll need to keep playing.

I do enjoy these cooking adventures. Trying something new is always fun, and it usually comes out well. And while school does Diversity and Cultural Awareness Day once a year (which coincidentally was today), I think it's nice to expose the kids to other cooking cultures in the comfort of their own home. Yea, they're on track to grow into culturally accepting kids, but it doesn't hurt to know that other peoples make your belly happy :)

Next up: Mardi Gras. Perhaps WB's favorite of the year! Come on down Feb 24 if anyone is in the mood for some Cajun cookin'!

Fashionista!

Girly went shopping on her Birthday Girls Overnight. She came home with this funky hat, a shirt with blingy buttons, and these high heeled flip flops. In this shot, she's wearing the sweatshirt she bought on last year's outing. She is certainly developing a sense of style... and one that is hers and not her mother's!!

great shot

Boy has really taken to cross country skiing. He went out yesterday and plowed through the powder and made himself some trails, and then WB went out on the snowshoes and joined him. Boy went out again today and I followed behind on my snowshoes snapping pics. Catching moments like this is why I take so many at a time... I don't always have a vision of what picture I'm looking for, but I know it when I see it. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of this one.

Thinking back, many of my favorite pictures are taken from behind. I have a great one of 18 month old Boy trudging up Coast Guard Beach, and one of 18month old Girly following her brother and father down Nauset Beach at a distance. I got some great ones of the cousins walking through the Redwood Forest, with only the baby looking back over his mother's shoulder. I'm mostly a mom-photographer, but I feel like I'm getting better at taking shots anyone would like, even if they didn't know my subjects.

dance with the one that brung you

After the ceremony last night, WB and I had a date. Imagine that! Normally such an event brings us to Brian's Bistro or to the Sunday River Brew Pub, but neither of those felt right: Irving's Truck Stop, however, was the perfect. We arrived to a full house, forgetting it was the Friday Night All You Can Eat Fish Fry. Hanging in a truck stop eating fried fish and warmed toll house pie is exactly what you should do after putting on a Carthage based AltEd graduation.

My Opus

Tonight 2 of my sunshines graduated. One a semester late, which took a lot of courage to come back for a 5th year, and one at least a semester early, depending on when you start counting. Both of them worked hard to get here, and deserve the smiles you see before you. I am proud of them. So very proud.

As you all know, these are the kids who struggle through school. They hate it. It's torture. Usually their parents hated it too, and remember their own trips to the very same naughty kid bench. But these are the ones that it means something when they suck it up and finish. I cheer for them more than I imagine cheering for my own kids. These small, private ceremonies are so special-- I get to speak directly to them and for them, and to their extended friends and family. Anyone can come and there is no need for tickets. And the 'ceremony' is over in 30 minutes :)

One of these guys gave me the most sincere hug-- multiple times-- and thanked me for being his teacher. When I read his card (with an engraved gift from his family and chocolate for my tree hole from him) it said "Thank you for all your help. I wouldn't have graduated without you." How do you respond to that? I met him as an angry, impulsive 14 year old and he graduates as a respectful, caring, giving father. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a part of that transformation, but I'm under no delusions that he couldn't have done it without me. I just happened to be the right person at the right time. You all even know my secret, and it's really not even a secret. Treat them like you would like to be treated. Practice tough love when necessary. Listen. Be honest, and demand it in return. He grew up because he found a place (a place found him?) where he could be himself, but also be held accountable for his actions. We laughed, we cried, we planned, and we connected. And now he's ready to go get a job and be a grown up. That's a good day.

I'm sure most of you saw Mr. Holland's Opus, and WB jokingly made that reference to me tonight. It's not quite a match, because I in no way feel I'm wasting my life teaching. I know what I do everyday will pay off in dividends in weeks, months, and years. It paid off tonight, as all 50 people in that room thanked me for doing what I can't imagine not doing. As I looked into the crowd and saw my graduates from last year and the year before come back and support their friends. As kids I haven't taught let me give them grief for doing stupid things and then told me about their successes. There is no false modesty when I say I don't see a whole school assembly happening when I retire and my former students showing up with their own security detail. But I do think I'll have steady visits throughout the years with stories of successes and failures, and truly that is all I want. And as much as this feels like an 'it's all about me' post, it's not. I've stumbled upon my dream job, and it wouldn't exist if every kid was ready to access the regular high school curriculum. I'm as thankful to have these sunshines in my life as they are to have me in theirs. And on the days when they can express those feelings, I feel like they're all out there, playing my Opus.

overrated

Mid-terms and finals are a bigger pain than they're worth.

My humble opinion of course.

I am ready for today to be over and for life to get back to normal.

Since I've been tagged... twice!

37 Random Things About Me

1. Do you like blue cheese? I don't like the smell of it, so I haven't gone further than that.
2. Have you ever smoked? A short phase in college... and some days I still miss the feeling. Amazing how addictive the buggers are.
3. Do you own a gun? Nope.
4. What flavor Kool Aid is your favorite? It's all too watery for me... but as a kid I liked Tang. (Bet you can now figure out when I was a kid!)
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No, I'm usually going in with a purpose and need a problem solved. Plus I'm not afraid to speak up if I don't like what I'm hearing.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I try not to think about them at all.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Carol. And the Gift of the Magi section of A Sesame Street Christmas
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea usually, but sometimes I need a comfort coffee.
9. Can you do push-ups? Yes. I used to be able to do a lot.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My engagement ring with my grandmother's diamond and my mother's ring my hubby had made for me with my great, great grandmother's diamond.
11. Favorite hobby? Scrapbooking and cooking.
12. Do you have A.D.D? No, but I can get many things done at once.
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Glasses. Tried to make contacts work the summer of 93, but they never got comfortable so I dropped the idea. It wasn't really my idea anyway!
14. Middle name? Margaret (in honor of the line of Margaret's on my father's side... and the original owner of the said mother's ring diamond)
15. Thoughts at this moment. 207 is just not catching my attention tonight.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Tea, water, and whiskey
17. Current worry? Paying down our (accidentally increasing) debt.
18. Current hate right now? People who work with kids but don't seem to really like them.
19. Favorite place to be? In a friend's kitchen-- or they in mine.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? Pot luck music night at our house. We made it to midnight, but not long after. Kids, too.
21. Where would you like to go? South of France to visit my bucket list-ing uncle!
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, although I lost one of them this weekend. I swore it was tied up in the blanket, but now I can't find it. Knit Mary-Jane looking things that were a gift.
24 What color shirt are you wearing? Gray 2004 girls soccer MVC champions sweatshirt of WB's. They should have won states that year. Sometimes I think about that game and it upsets me all over again.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I had a blue satin pillow case as a child-- I think a gift from my grandmother (the engagement ring one) who went overseas. I remember it being very slippery, so I'm not sure sheets would be any fun. Never tried though.
26. Can you whistle? In an emergency.
27. Favorite Color? Turquoise and teal.
28. What songs do you sing in the shower? I rarely sing them outloud, but I often play my tap song in my head and visualize me doing the moves. I always sing with the radio, whether I like the song or not.
29. Would you be a pirate? No. No way I could cope with the violence.
30. Favorite Girl's Name? In my 20s I wanted a Jenna
31. Favorite boy's name? In my 20s I wanted a Dylan
32. What's in your pocket right now? chapstick
33. Last thing that made you laugh? probably WB. He always makes me laugh.
34. What vehicle do you drive? Toyota Sienna
35. Worst injury you've ever had? Broken bone.
36. Do you love where you live? yes
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? One. Brand new this summer, darn it all.

Hope

Today is a good day to be an American. For the first time in 8 long, difficult years, I am not embarrassed by my president. More importantly, I now notice, he is MY president. I voted for him, I believe in him, and I claim him. He is also the first president of my adult life that I trust and respect-- I believed in the last democrat, but I did not trust him, and lost respect for him as a person (but not as a leader) by the end of his term. This man, Barack Obama, I trust to lead us out of this mess, and I respect his integrity, his honesty, and his leadership style. Yes, a good day all around.

The first inauguration I remember is 1980. I knew there was something hokey about the Hostage Crisis resolution: why were the Iranians waiting until Regan took office to release those hostages? What did it really matter? Now I understand the deep slap in the face that was to Carter, probably the most humanitarian leader the world has seen. I remember sitting in Mr. Spenard's fifth grade class, and Tammy Jo Macomber counting down to noon and cheering loudly. I knew that she was just repeating her parent's views-- I was for Anderson because my mom was. But I also remember feeling awkward at that moment, and knowing there was a bigger piece to the puzzle that I just didn't get yet, and that moment has stuck with me. I don't know what it says that it would be 29 years and 6 major elections before January 20 at noon would matter to me again.

Today all the schools in our district were encouraged (commanded?) to show the inauguration to all students. Boy was grateful to get to see the whole speech, even if most of the kids in his lunch didn't care about it. "My eyes got a bit watery after he said it." How many other kids will remember this moment 30 years from now and have been impacted by what they saw?

Later today I had a meeting to talk about the future of AltEd in our new RSU. I left that meeting with hope: administrators believe in our programs and are committed to keeping them, and to making them better. I left feeling secure in my future, but also valued as an important piece of the success story. We even talked about how it's not only the AltEducators responsibility to connect with kids, but all teachers. How do we fall back on connections made in elementary school to help disconnected middle or high schoolers? How do we help transitions between grade levels? We left the AltEd world for a bit and talked about impacting all students. Saying I left that meeting hopeful is an understatement.

So I have hope: hope for the future success of this RSU transition (even though I still think our governor lost his mind), hope for my sunshines, and all the other sunshines out there needing a connection, hope for Boy and Girly's future, and hope for America. It sounds hokey, but today the promise of America doesn't sound so crazy. Hope. Such a breath of fresh air. The first step to getting something done is to believe it can be. My sunshines start earning credits and moving towards graduation when they believe they can do it. The same holds true for countries on the brink of disaster: I believe that this person is what our country needs to generate enough hope for us to make a change. That his background is what it is only adds to the story: he did not grow up easy, he was not expected to ever become president, but he believed, and here we are. Hope.

satisfying

Today has turned into a very satisfying day.

Our Saturday AM trip to JOAD had Boy scoring a 202, beating his personal best by about 50 points. Instead of going out for lunch and spending lots of money, we got breakfast before at Dunkin Donuts. If we ever get a DD in Dixfield, I will have to take a second job to pay for that habit: I won't get up early enough to drive to Rumford for a coffee before work, but if I pass one, I have a hard time resisting the urge. We stopped in at Play It Again Sports and got some store credit for trading in some old skates and skis, although I know they'll sell them for more than we traded, but whatever. They're out of my shed, which completes the summer cleanout project.

While WB went to do grocery shopping, I wanted to get outside in the 'heat' of the day. I decided to be a Useful Engine and finish cutting up the tree that WB felled last weekend. It was still on the side of the house, but had been overshadowed by the cold and the water issues. I spent probably 90 minutes getting the usable bits free and dragging them over to the Woodmaster. WB has probably half a dozen branches to chainsaw into smaller pieces-- either that or teaching me how to, because I can't use our handsaw to save my life.

After I cleaned up from that project, I started dinner. Cooking Light had an oven fried chicken recipe I've wanted to make all week. In my typical fashion, the recipe was a guide rather than a bible, but I think switching panko breadcrumbs for cracker crumbs was a brilliant decision. I then toasted the homemade bread I'd made last weekend with an olive oil garlic dressing and had Boy make up a simple cole slaw. Super yummy! I got all the dishes done while it was all cooking, so the kitchen is even clean now. Yea me!

Tomorrow the kids will come sleep over before their mother goes to work, and we'll hook up somehow with Bestfriends on Monday to return them. All 4 of the kiddos are anxiously awaiting that.

Right now the living room temp is up over 70 (we started the day at 55) and my belly is happy and full. My muscles are tired from doing some work, and my brain is satisfied with accomplishing so many things. So this, SJ, is my favorite kind of Saturday!

and now for our regular programming

You Are Basil

You are quite popular and loved by post people. You have a mild temperament, but your style is definitely distinctive. You are sweet, attractive, and you often smell good.

What Spice Are You?

now what?

The truck is dead. Started this morning, WB stopped for coffee, and came back out to a dead vehicle.

I need this week to end.

bleeped

So the water situation is as bad as it can be: the pipe from the well to the house is broken. We need an excavator, and new pipe laid down. I am not kidding when I say I have no idea how we're going to pay for this. Well, I do, I guess. It's called credit, which I am desperately working our way out of needing. But I guess not now.

Darn it. I'm so sad... and mad at myself for letting us get into this financial mess. Darn it, darn it, darn it.

Update: The glorious plumbers got us water in the house again. A heat wrapped pipe, buried in the snow, leading from the well and across the lawn into the basement. The plan is to do this until spring, when we can get the excavation part done. They also suggested calling the homeowners policy-- which I'd never have thought of myself-- so I'm crossing everything that it's covered. A deductible is much nicer to deal with than the whole thing!

livin' la vida Norlands

So I'm finding it slightly ironic that today, when the death of the founder of the Norlands Living History Center was announced in the local paper, we are carrying water in 5 gallon buckets and melting snow. I say, you haven't truly lived until you've melted snow on the stove to do dishes. One bowl with soapy water, one for rinsing. Granted, I was using my modern gas stove, with electric lights to help me, but still, it gives one a sense of gratitude for the wonders of indoor plumbing. I can't believe Devon didn't have indoor hot water until 1983. Further proof that she was an absolute saint.

As WB mentioned, we have lots of options on what may be wrong, but no clear solution. The guys will be back in the AM-- one a former student who is a great kid and loves his job-- to try to fix it. I trust them completely. I have rekindled respect for my friends at Community Energy. We'd hit a rough patch a few years back with budget payments for oil, but the service side of the business has always been rock solid. They are my official Go-To People. Rosemarie recognized me immediately, although it's been a couple of years since I'd called. Let's hope it's a bunch more years before we speak again!

A shout out belongs to the bestfriends, who harbored the kids after school and have offered meals and showers until the problem is solved. This, good people, is why you have friends. You people rock!

#3

Remember last month when the oven died and then the windshield cracked? I tried to convince myself that the third in the line was something silly like an exploded pen all over me. I should know better. Today, the water pump appears to be within hours of death.

I noticed our electric bill was a bit high last month-- higher than it should have been with Christmas lights and the electric bits of the external wood furnace working full time. Then WB noticed the pump was coming on a lot. I called someone, and they misunderstood the issue. Today, the pump is just not shutting off. So WB shut it off. Now every time we want to use water, he goes downstairs and turns it back on. One of these times, it just won't. I've called Our Guy, who happens to be the step dad to my longest running student. He's coming by one night this week. We probably need a new pump. The last time it died was 7 years ago. Saturday morning of Memorial Weekend. Boy was 4 and Girly 2. Running water was sort of important, so we paid the double time charge for the nice people to come. Still paying off that debt, as it got mixed into other random emergencies on the equity line. At least this time the kids are old enough to wait until a weekday. At least its working enough to not have to go lug water up from the stream. Luckily we have a Guy who likes to come work for us after his day job is done... which is great, except it means we have to wait. I don't like waiting. But he treats us well, and keeping this relationship happy is win/win for all of us.

So if you see one or all of us knocking on your door with shampoo and towels in hand, you'll know why. And please let us in!

beautiful

This is my favorite kind of snow. Light and fluffy, easy to shovel, and a fresh layer of pristine white on top of all the dirty stuff. I also love seeing the evidence of kids playing outside. When the sun comes out and the last few flakes are falling, I can't imagine living in a place with no snow.

(Ask me again later in the week when the thermometer doesn't get above single digits how I feel about winter.)

The Snack Club

I'm living my own Breakfast Club moment right now. My poor girl is in a very bad place, and there's nothing I can do to help her. Except listen. Being 16 is not easy. Life is often not fair. And working toward making it better is a really hard choice to make. Because it's hard work. Brutal work. And I don't know if she's ready to make that choice.

Another friend of mine came in at the last minute. Needed to get his truck jumped so he was late. Me being me, of course he can come late. Still has to do the 2 hours. I may be soft, but I'm not a pushover. I hope he joins me next semester. I think this is where he belongs

And seriously, I even had a Ally Sheedy type kid show up. He wasn't even on my list! I could not make this stuff up even if I tried.

Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

step it up!

I didn't get home in time to go for a walk tonight-- a college girl stopped in to chat after school and then I had promised the cheerleaders I'd come critique practice. I had gotten home with just enough light to dig my old step aerobics step out of the shed. So, during Jeopardy! I walked up and down and all around, switching direction and movement every minute. All those steps we did in the basement of the Madison in the early 90s came rushing back... a few more sessions of low impact, old lady tempo and I should be hopping around like the old days.

I went to step aerobics when I was new to the area and a newbie teacher. One of the veteran teachers was quite the exercise addict and brought me along. I figured it was a great way to meet people, get to know the area, and stay active at the same time. Once I met WB and started having someone I wanted to hang out with in the afternoons I stopped going. I have always liked aerobics-- the dancing/cheerleader/gymnast comes out loud and clear-- but I hate paying for it. Maybe this flashback will get me through the dark days of winter until I can get outside, walking the streets.

Hogwarts

Girly is now reading Harry Potter to herself. I read her the first 2 books, but I'm really not a very good bedtime reader... half the time I'm coming home from a meeting, or needing a shower before morning, or just too tired to keep my eyes open. I've been bugging her to move beyond Junie B. for months now, and this was what she needed to do it. I think she's read 3 chapters today. Very nice indeed.

Boy is reading Harry #6 (for the second time, first time reading the whole series himself) while Girly is on #3. Now I have no excuse to not finish the series. I myself am only about 1/6 into #3, and can't believe I've shielded myself from most of the secrets. I heard about one, but it wasn't too terribly shocking considering the length of the series and the time it encompasses. Hopefully I finish reading before finding anything else out!

I am not even kidding.

If you have not yet watched Little Miss Sunshine, go out and rent it tomorrow. Seriously. You will laugh until you cry, and cry until you laugh. I stumbled upon it on cable after The Muppet Movie, and WB and I are even more hooked than the first time we saw it. My face hurts from laughing. My next signature line ready to go. Man, this movie is amazing.

If I was made of money, you would all have a copy headed to your doorstep now. I'm not (and am actually working rather hard to eliminate our debt) so this will have to be a 'thought that counts' kind of moment. But really, watch this movie. You won't regret it. I promise.

winding down

Vacation is coming to an end. It's hard to think about waking up to an alarm again and getting back to running to dance and gymnastics (JOAD kept up over break). But, really, is there a better time schedule for parents? I feel quite blessed to get so much time with my family.

I am missing my sunshines, though. I wonder how their holidays were. No one has made the papers, so that's good news. No one has called, which probably means no tragedies beyond typical teenaged ones. But still, I look forward to their stories Monday morning. (Not to the alarm, though, even if it means them. I swear schools should run 10-4.)

Tonight we had fish and chips and onion rings (opened, unused beer from NYE means time for some batter!) and are watching The Muppet Movie. WB saw this in Rumford back in the day... I must have seen it at the Maine Mall Cinemas... both of which have been torn down. Somehow the kids have reached 9 and almost 11 and not seen this movie. Bad parents, I know, but easily rectified. Netflix is a great thing, no?

Happy New Year

New Year's Day means resolutions...

A combination of factors including age, hormones, meds, lack of time, and laziness have increased my waist size beyond where I consider to be acceptable for me. Today I resolve to start slowly, but to steadily work away at this so I do not need to purchase a whole new wardrobe. I got a new nalgene water bottle for Christmas, and I need to drink at least one per day. I've had success with paying attention to portion sizes in the past-- I never do well eliminating something I enjoy entirely, but limiting how much works well. I also really need to stop snacking after dinner... which could be the hardest change to make. Exercising 3 days a week, regardless of the schedule, is also important. No excuses! Maybe I'll find my old stepper and store it under the couch for those school nights where it gets dark before I get home...

That's a lot-- 4 major changes, really-- but all so important to my goal. I really need to lose about 10 lbs, but should be looking at 20 or 30 to get to the point where I feel my best. I guess 25 is a good, reasonable goal. My hope is if I do this gradually enough, the changes in habits will stick and I won't be posting this again next year.

If anyone is looking for a walking (or snowshoeing or anything else) buddy, let me know. I do better when I'm meeting someone to exercise-- I honor commitments to others more than those to myself :)

winner winner!

SJ won herself a copy of my buzzing sunflowers. What a way to end your daily blogging month!

(Sorry, Mike, I guess your luck finally ran out.)

Thanks for participating in my first blog giveaway!

it's like summer in here!

Except there's winter gear all around and it's cold. But hey, I hung out a load of laundry! It was in my kitchen, sure, and I had to dry it in the dryer for about 30 minutes to have a chance of clothes being wearable by morning, but it's better than it was. Thanks, Santa, for the new and improved drying rack. I love it!

for Beth

Let me talk a bit about my relationship with cake making: I do it all the time, but it's not obvious that I have years of experience. I have made every birthday cake for our kids (and I believe one each for my other kids!). I love making them their themed cakes, but I'm not technically good at it. I mean, it's really hard to screw up a box mix, but my cakes are always lopsided, and ALWAYS have bits of cake mixed into the frosting. I would never, ever make a cake for someone I didn't know-- and I would only make one for someone I did know if they understood what they were getting. That being said, no child (or adult, for that matter) has ever complained.

The checkerboard bit of this didn't really show up-- the colors were too similar to stand out as being distinct. I'm sure I'll have another opportunity to try again in a year or so...

birthday girly!

Today Girly is 9! It's amazing to me that it has been that long, but the math doesn't lie.

Up until this year, we have had her party in the summer. Family celebrated the real date, but all the little friends came on her half birthdate of June 28. But this year she wanted a sleep over party on her actual birthday. So last night I made a cake (fun-fetti and vanilla checkerboard cake--let's hope it comes out right!) and we cleaned her bedroom. The tree is down so we can focus on the birthday alone. My bestfriend's birthday is in 2 days, and we have learned from his experiences that it is worth the extra effort to make her so-close-to-Christmas birthday as special as those of us lucky to be born far removed from the major gift-giving holiday of the year.

spirit of giving

In honor of the day, I'm sponsoring my first comment giveaway!

If you'd like your own copy of this photo, tell me your highlight of the last 24 hours. One winner will be chosen randomly from all the responders. The winner can chose either a 5x7 or 8x10 print.

Merry merry to all my loyal readers!


(In response to Beth: we cannot claim this sunflower as our own, but I did take the shot. Ricker Hill Orchards had this huge patch of them, and instead of letting my students take one, I took pictures for them. Turns out I took one that would have earned me a fine grade in Photography with Mr. C!)

traditions

When I was in high school, my sister's best friend since forever became one of my dear friends too. We all ran on the cross country team together, and often shared rides to and from events as we were only about 3 miles from each other. Every year we would stop at her house on our way to Christmas Eve services. Her mom would always serve us ginger ale (in a paper cup) and Greek pastries as we traded our trinkets. Throughout high school and college it was part of what we did. When we all moved away, I missed our little tradition, done amongst her aunts baking and preparing for the holiday.

Today I took Boy and Girly to their friend's to exchange gifts. They live about half a mile from us, and are in the same grade as ours. We have already started trading off ("I'd like to take the boys fishing if you'd keep the girls") and it only proves to happen more as the boys head to the middle school next year and leave the girls behind in elementary school. Girly had made her friend some homemade cards, and Boy gave his bud a little picture of them together during baseball season.

Tonight, we head to our friend's house for our Christmas Eve tradition here. It is with our group of friends here in town, and I described it as my church earlier this season, and it is. These people are a very accepting, loving, giving group, and we're lucky to be a part of their world. The details are different this year-- music instead of Christmas readings, a different house, and bestfriends joining us (!)-- but we will all be together, celebrating each other.

Christmas for me is about the people, and while my Christmas Eve memories begin with ginger ale in a paper cup, sandwiched between family commitments, they do not end there. Tonight when I lift my ginger ale cup in my friend's mom's memory (she died of cancer about 10 years ago) I will also toast to many years of the kids heading to their friends house for a few stolen hours of fun before each family heads to their event.

should we stay or should we go?

Boy has stated publicly that he thinks we're in for a snow day. WB thinks we should... but is afraid it'll stop early enough to fool the Deciders into thinking that since the main roads are plowed, the back roads are too. Girly is really hoping for snow day, so her judgment is colored. Me? I hope not, but I'm afraid last Wednesday's folly will keep us home tomorrow.

What do you all think?

because I enjoy making Katie and SJ happy

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? whatever I have saved to reuse from Christmas' past. And I have a lot saved...

2. Real tree or Artificial? always real

3. When do you put up the tree? this week-- Monday night.

4. When do you take the tree down? usually Dec 27-- the day before Cate's birthday!

5. Do you like eggnog? no. If it was called something else I'm sure I'd love it, but I can't get beyond the idea of drinking raw eggs...

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I got a dr. kit one year that I loved...

7. Hardest person to buy for? depends on the year. This year, my brother.

8. Easiest person to buy for? the kids, especially Girly. She just loves everything.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? yes. My mom got it for me. It's made of olive wood, and it looks like the one she got from her mother. I have the same cookie cutter set my mom has, too. I love those sorts of traditions.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I"m sure there is one, but I can't think of it.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? When the mood hits. Usually December, although this year I started in early fall trying to spread out the payments!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I recycle EVERYTHING (see #1) so yes, if I get something I won't use and someone else will, you bet!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? yes

16. Lights on the tree? yes, all white

17. Favorite Christmas song? Fairytale of New York by the Pogues with Kirsty McCall.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home? Home Christmas day, but travel all around before.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all….Rudolph!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? star. made it myself the year we were married of this stuff probably meant to top a gift. It's ugly, but there it is.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Morning. Always.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? When people do things because they "have to" and don't enjoy the season.

23. What theme or color are you using? um.... theme?

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? lamb roast, but I've never met a dinner I didn't like.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? a debt free season!!

tis the season

to be tired!

Man, am I tired. I crashed on the couch at about 8:30, waiting for WB and Boy to come back from archery. Girly and I had treated ourselves to some chinese, and I had a full belly in a slightly chilled house.

I should have been making my dad's half dips, but I couldn't keep my head up. So today, I head off to see my new grand-student born yesterday, take Girly to her gymnastics show, and then pick up the kids to bring them back to decorate sugar cookies while I do up dad's candy. Tomorrow we head to Boy's first qualifying shoot, then to my parents to exchange gifts. Sunday is a baby shower for our VT friends and then caroling in the afternoon. Monday may have a gathering, Tuesday definitely does, as does Wed and of course Thurs. Friday may take us to Mass for another gathering... so yes, tired is an extremely acceptable consequence of loving and being loved by so many people.

love train?

I inadvertantly pulled out behind The Music Man and SJ this morning. I recognized TMM first, and then checked to see that, yes, it was SJ right behind. I don't believe either of them recognized me-- I don't usually see them in the mornings so we're not time markers for each other. (I see a school board member most mornings, and we can tell how early or late we each are by where we pass and wave.) Anyhow, it made me chuckle to join a mini RVB train moving along 108.

snow day!

The first snow day of the year is usually my favorite: it reminds me of Christmas anticipation from my childhood. I love it when it's predicted days in advance, giving time for the excitement to build. And then-- added bonus-- the storm is predicted for a Friday! We got the call before 6, and went back to sleep until 9. I got the cards done and last packages mailed out, although none of the baking I had contemplated. Oh well-- the kids came over and went sledding, WB got the yard cleaned up, and Mike and Katie stayed for a beef stew and fresh bread dinner. What a great way to start the snow day season! By March I'll be praying for the storm to pass, but now, it was a perfect way to create a long weekend!

Jon Stewart rocks my world

Seven minutes of your life you will not regret sitting still for.

my turn

So I was observed today. I really had no idea what to expect, what with The New Guy as my principal this year. It was fairly painless, except my kids were so nervous that they made me nervous. I talked to them about the Cuban Missile Crisis-- one of my favorite topics in recent US History. Kennedy may have been a lot of things, but he was a really good President. I mean, dude, he talked his way out of a nuclear war off the coast of Florida in the height of the Cold War-- and came out making Krushchev looking a bit weak! Anyhow, this is one of those topics that I want them to at least recognize when someone mentions it. (Yes, a lot of my lessons are built around them not looking dumb in some future hypothetical conversation, but I gotta use something as a filter, right?) Anyhow, I think it went ok, and the kids actually got involved in the conversation, and no one let an F-bomb slip. In short, they tried to make me look good. I'm not sure how New Guy defines success, but that works for me.

ghosts of Christmases yet to come

I am sure that when I look back upon today, I will only remember that we went, and were successful, and had fun. "That was a great day"... and it was. But right now, I'm going to tell the whole story.

I wanted to take the kids to see A Christmas Carol live. We watch the George C. Scott version and the Muppet version every year, so they are well acquainted with the tale, but I felt they would benefit from seeing it done live, and by a very reputable company. WB decided he is Caroled out, so I took them alone. I also brought along my other 2 kids-- their mom had worked last night and was going to sleep all day anyway, but really, I took them because that's just what we do. I like packing up all my kids into the van and heading off on an adventure. But I digress; this is about a trip to the Big City to see a Show! They spent the night last night so we were ready to hit the road early, even as the predicted snow started to fly. The roads weren't that bad-- the snow was coming down for real around Gray, but I've driven in much, much worse. We got into town about 40 minutes early, to find that my normal parking lot was closed. Hmmm.... so I drove around the block and found onstreet parking. Sweet! When we got into the lobby, there was no one there. I mean NO ONE. The box office was closed, and no one was anywhere to be seen. After I called the box office (from 10 feet away-- one of my favorite tricks) and didn't hear our show listed, I finally stumbled upon someone who informed me I was at the wrong venue-- our show was about 5 blocks away... but she didn't give great directions, and I really didn't know where we were going. This is where the story takes it's turn.

And so we left, quickly, as we only had about 15 minutes to make curtain. I drove off to where I thought the theater was, but didn't see it. So we went around the block... to encounter one way streets. After a long drive through the Old Port, I got back to a known landmark. The one time I needed WB to be at home on the couch with the laptop open, he was working on getting the 4-wheeler ready to plow the snow. Luckily Mike was available. He googled me directions, got me a phone number, and talked me around the block again. I ended up passing the theater 3 times, but finally saw it. Another quick turnaround, into the parking garage, and we got there about 10 minutes into the show. The 4 kids sat in late seating on the left side of the house, while I was taken to the right side because there weren't enough seats for us together. After a few heated words with the stage manager ("One of them could have come with you.." "I know, but they're in, seated, quiet, and fine. Just take me to the other side.") At intermission, we found our correct seats. All was right in the world.

I have to say, through all of this, the kids were amazing. Now, they've been with me enough-- and with me as the sole adult enough-- to know how stressed I was, and how one little thing would cause me to break. So they walked quickly, sat quietly, and helped by not saying anything. There was only one big sigh as I explained how, on the third trip by, I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever find it. One quick bark from me (and I think some stares from the fellow passengers) was all that was necessary. When we were finally seated, a section apart, I heard other children talking, but not a peep from my chickens. They were happy to move, and NOT A ONE OF THEM asked for a snack at intermission. (For those of you who have not taken 8,9, 10, & 11 year olds to a noontime event, that's a super big deal!) Yes, Santa, they all earned Good Kid points today.

After the show we got some lunch and did a bit of shopping (getting lost, again, finding my way from the theater to the mall). Now I spent most of my childhood about 30 miles south of this city, and had a passing familiarity when I was in high school... twenty years ago. It took about 10 years of living up here to change my landmarks and successfully navigate the city from the north, but I don't do it often, so while I know about where I am, I don't always remember how to get from point A to B. Let's just say "I HATE the city!" was uttered more than once...

Anyhow, it really was a great day. We made it, we didn't miss much, the play was awesome, and we got some shopping done. Most importantly, we got through a rough spell together, without any of us losing it. They rallied around me as only your kids can when you're lost in the city and there's not a damn thing they can do to help. When I had calmed down enough to laugh, they laughed with me. When the show was over, they asked to fill their bellies, but didn't make demands on where. When I said it would have to be fast and cheap, they were thankful for the Happy Meals. When we shopped for WB and teacher gifts, they didn't complain. I got to walk through the city, with 4 kids in tow, and see the amazement on others faces. So yea, it was a great day. No hindsight necessary.

it's 11.

Oven: fixed. No idea on the bill, but right now, who cares?
Windshield: fixed. $100 deductible. Do-able.
Exploded pen: off my fingers. (ok, it wasn't really worthy of being the 3rd in the string, but I was hoping to end it quickly.)
Nausea: gone. Didn't even hurl. Yea me!

And the credit card is paid off. Super Duper Yea Us! Now to the equity line...

time to make the cookies.

believe it

I jinxed myself the other post, when I said there would be more news to my updates. There is another update: the van is at Portland Glass getting it's cracked windshield replaced.

humph indeed.

it's official

The Grinch's heart has grown 3 sizes: it is now officially the Christmas season.

(FYI: We are still only watching the Boris Karlov TV half hour special: I hope to never see more of the Jim Carey movie than the teasers I had to endure when it was first released.)

Time to carve the Roast Beast. (Well, theoretically, of course, since it's 9PM and because of the whole oven thing, but you get the refrence...)

updates

The oven: not the news I was hoping for. Friday at the earliest. We need a new ignitor, and need the part to get here, which takes 3-5 days. So, it's either stove top cooking or using the oven at school. Cookie swap cookies may just get baked with my students on Friday. Service learning or something, right?

The sunshines: I got a visit from a student today needing help. The situation is not good, but between a bunch of support people, we've got him on the path to resolving the issue. I had some resources from my fall alted conference that were very helpful ($100 well spent!!). While it pains me to have to help them all through these messes, it's further confirmation that I'm where I belong. "I didn't know what else to do, so I came to you."

The budget: working on next year's budget, which means I need to have next year's schedule. What is that going to look like? I don't know exactally.... so I'm throwing arrows in the dark.

The shopping: almost everything is purchased. I believe we're down to less than than half a dozen things to get. Then I just have a few CDs to burn and cookies to bake, and we're good to know. Feeling good about that.

Stay tuned. More news at 11.

my favorite holiday

So we started this Thanksgiving season with a Gamma Day at Mike and Katie's. For those of you who don't know, Gamma Day started years ago because my darling husband never, never, never gets enough turkey and fixin's at Thanksgiving proper. So, we'd do it all over again, usually right before or right after, but sometimes randomly months away. When Lea was very little, Mike (Gupiga to our kids) dubbed it Gamma Day (because they call him Gamma, of course). Gamma claims that only he can call an official Day, but he never complains when one of the rest of us calls one, because it means more turkey, which is always a good thing.

Today, with the help of Mike and Katie's new and nicely functioning oven, we hosted our own Gamma Day. I headed to their house to cook the bird and the stuffing, and he got the root vegetable medley started here. It's mashed potatoes, but with carrots, sweet potato, and parsnips thrown in. After 3.5 hours, I trucked the cooked food back home and got the gravy and broccoli and asparagus finished. Bestfriends came over with their leftover pies, and we finished the Thanksgiving season together, enjoying each other's company.

Forever more, this will be my favorite holiday. Not only does it mean our friends will be present, but it also has the flexibility of us deciding the best day for it. And there are very few people who have ever celebrated this holiday, which makes it pretty darned special. So happy Gamma Day, everyone! Let the leftovers commence!

thankful

A great idea from SJ and Katie.

1. Friends, all of them. I love my Dickvale crowd, my RVBs, my DHS friends, my bestfriends... I am blessed to b surrounded by so many wonderful people.
2. Stuff. I have everything I need and then some. I am comfortable, warm, and full.
***EDIT: Except my oven, which just died. Humph.***
3. Health. Aside from a few minor issues, my friends, family, and I are all healthy and going strong.
4. Work. I am lucky to have found a job that I love that provides us with the paycheck we need to keep #2 & #3.
5. Family, immediate and extended. As much as they can drive me nuts, it is good to have so many people to care about, and to be cared by. And the 3 others who reside here with me, well, I'd be lost without them.

so happy Thanksgiving, all. May you find peace in this coming hectic season.

Thanksgiving #2

Yesterday's school based Thanksgiving was a success. Kids and teachers and administrators working together to put together a meal for us to enjoy (and to share with a few elderly residents). My June graduates from last year came by as well, and it was nice to hear "One Good Thing" that has happened to everyone in the room recently. It was a good day. As long as my middle school counterpart and I are in this business, it is what the day before Thanksgiving break will look like.

idea

My idea is not a post for me to write, but one I would happily comment on. I would love a Joe Pos* or WB or Mike post on the greatest athletic commercials of all time-- Be Like Mike, That's De-termination, many of the early SportsCenter promos. Just making my desires known.

*I know it gives my husband great joy that I, a non-obsessive sports reader, check this blog daily. I skim the ones that are all about sports, but his writing is so good it's worth the effort. When he writes about non-sporting things, well, that's just another sign of a good day.

go with your gut

I was scheduled to give blood today, but woke up a bit stuffy. I pondered whether I should go or not, but WB convinced me I really wasn't the kind of sick that would render my blood useless. Well, turns out my body disagreed. I was sent away after being stuck because I would not bleed. 3 techs tried, to no success. So now I still have to be gentle to my arm ("no dishes for 3 days"... ha!) but no one benefits from the injury. So it goes in my life-- I've been sent away for not bleeding fast enough before, and I'm often right on the edge of making it. Better luck next time.

connectedness

If I were asked to define myself as an educator, in one word, it would be connectedness. Honestly, I think that one word defines me as a human being-- I still send Christmas Cards to my fourth grade teacher. (At one point in my life, I sent out close to 100 cards every year. I've whittled it down to about 50, which really took some work.) Anyhow, while my 'lessons' focus on the MLR of the day, I scrap it all for the "teachable moment" that deals with whatever the given kid needs at the moment-- a conversation about safe sex or quitting smoking, my recipe for chicken and broccoli alfredo, or finding out whether or not Castro is still alive during math class. My ultimate goal at the end of the day is for the kids to realize that knowledge is important, but in this day and age you can find anything (see the Castro question and google). What really matters is that someone cares that you found out. Or thought about finding out. Or really didn't care to find out, but did because it was a hoop that had to be jumped.

I've mentioned before that this was a rough week in my world. But there was a lot of good, too. I had a conversation about this very topic with one kid-- and she really appreciated my approach. Another boy admitted, probably for the first time in his life (and I'm so not exaggerating here) that his actions caused the punishment, and the fault was all his. The other parent thanked me for doing what I do, even as I was talking to her about the drama that had altered our plans for the day. A boy came to visit me-- one I'd never taught, but would check in with as he struggled to finish school-- to tell me how he was doing, and to check on his brother (who I do teach) because things are rough at home. Every day ends with "Bye, Buckaroo. Have a good night." I think that's a pretty big deal for kids racing out the door to freedom.

This afternoon I was at the grocery store and bumped into a graduate of mine. This kid is a great one-- hard working, smart, kind-- but his path has not been an easy one, and he's spent some time in the county "hotel". His younger half brother was with him, and they were preparing to have a Thanksgiving together. "Be a gentleman and help her with those bags." Little Bro is not a current student of mine but one on my radar screen, and I thanked him for being such a sweet kid. I'm not sure how often he hears that, but it is so very true. "I'm lucky to have you boys" I joked. But I swear to you, I am not kidding. I am so lucky to have all these kids in my life. I hope they never stop letting me know how they're doing. Connectedness. You betcha.

what not coaching looks like

Never in my life have I felt this ready for Christmas. The box to go to my sister is ready to be mailed on Monday. Christmas books for the 4 bestfriends are created, ordered, and ready to go (thanks, Shutterfly!) As you can see, the gifts that I have in the house are wrapped and tagged. It's not even Thanksgiving yet! Yea me!

I do have some work left to do. Calendars for both sets of grandparents, half-dips for my dad, stockings for the family, and purchasing fewer than a dozen items for people still on the list. Then, of course, I have cookies and chocolates and pot luck dishes to make and enjoy. I'm feeling like I'm really going to be able to enjoy this season because I'm so far ahead of the game. I guess the economic crisis has been good for something-- it forced me to start shopping early so I wouldn't have to use any credit cards.

I'm feeling like quite the Boy Scout: I am prepared for the next month of mayhem and joy and love. Bring it on... but don't start playing the carols until I flip the calendar. That just bugs me.

always planning

My mother in law and her sisters laugh at me annually because I want to start making holiday plans in late August. We are busy people, and I need to know where we're going in order to be sure we get it all in. It's become a family joke, which is fine, because I know I'm right.

As a follow up to my budget woes post, I've been working on plans. How to payoff the van; what extras can go, and where I might work. I may have stumbled upon a plan, rather randomly. My alt ed conference had a legal session (a great session, BTW) which followed a post by Beth about her job. I haven't stopped thinking about becoming a guardian ad litem (also seen spelled lietem-- not sure which is right), and many have commented that I would be good at it. So, if my dream job disappears in a puff of budget woes, the kids I love dealing with may have a new advocate on their side.

It's a plan, which is really all I need to sleep through the night. I can do anything with a plan... just watch how many Christmas parties we get in every year!!!

low battery

Today started with one impending drama, moved into another bit of daytime drama, and ended with the predicted drama being as bad as feared. Suffice it to say I cannot even envision going to work tomorrow, never mind sticking around for house and staff meetings, and THEN having to come back on Friday. That excitement I've been feeling about our way cool Thanksgiving event... yup, gone. Nicely done. I'm sure I'll rebound by Monday, but right now, Friday night can't come fast enough.

playing along with SJ

The idea here, according to SJ, is to bold the things you've done.

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

working towards a 4

Beaner Bean called me tonight with some news. She didn't call Boy or Girly, but me. "You're important to me and you should know." For over a decade we've been talking about how cool it will be when our kids talk to us, or at least one of us, about the important stuff. We're now reaching that actual point. The next 10 years should be fairly ...interesting, but I'm hopeful that we'll all get to the other side, adults and children both, and realize we all did the best we could. That's really all we can hope for.

I then had a quick little conversation with Boy about various things, and for the moment, anyway, he cares what I think and what I have to say. Let's hope that continues, too.

I love these 4 people more than I ever thought possible. Watching them grow up is just the coolest. I am truly lucky to have them.

(Let's hope they're not the only ones!)

I understand the drop out rate more and more...

Why, why, why, do we have to make everything so boring? I'm not at a How to Make Kids Lives Miserable conference, so why would I pick up the boring Growing a Nation CD that kids can sit and be prattled to about how important agriculture is? Here's a crazy idea-- how about getting outside and getting our hands dirty instead of watching a prefabed program. The whole reason I'm here is that some kids WON'T SIT AND LISTEN TO YOUR STUPID, BORING NONSENSE LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW! In fact, if the presenter wasn't smart enough to be blocking the door, I'd be outta here too.

I come to this conference for innovation... we've covered boredom in the classroom in many different ways. I want to know what someone has done to get kids interested-- or has tried that didn't work for them. I want to leap frog ideas, and get a little wacky. I want to come away enthused, not exhausted.

She's moved from the door. Time to make a break for it...

time?

I think it may be time to switch from receiver to presenter. Who knew I was doing "harm reduction"? Well, me, I guess, but I didn't know it had a name.

I wonder if I can start a Friday tradition around our random conversations? How was your week? What did you learn? What can you teach others?

I also need to start some sort of WB's Free Forms.

Conferences are great for new ideas... even if they're not the ideas of the presenters. Maybe better, in fact...

just ask Cracker.

"What the US needs now is..."

(... another folk singer like I need a hole in my head!)

I could say the same thing about keynote speakers.

on my mind

Another scary email from our boss today. I don't think I'm on the first-to-go list, but I am not foolish enough to think my program is not expendable. I haven't updated my resume yet, but moments of panic are creeping in. Let's hope it doesn't go any further than that.

political insight of the night

We watched 60 Minutes tonight, and there was a story about the Obama election team. They commented that Obama's reaction to the Reverend Wright situation was a big turning point. I say it is the reason he is our next President. (To be honest, WB does too, but this is my post. I gave him the Grant Park East one.) Think about it: faced with a situation that could have become the Monkey Business of this election, Obama stood up and controlled the news cycle. He spoke his mind rather than saying what people wanted to hear. That is what a leader does, and ultimately why he was elected.

During the primary run, I made the prediction, based on history, that America would elect a black man before a white woman. Black men earned the right to vote in 1870 with the Fifteenth Amendment while women had to wait until 1920 and the Nineteenth Amendment. I have to admit, that while I would have voted for Hillary if she was the nominee, I am so very, very glad I was right.

mad lib (from SJ)

SJ this great little blog mad lib from Debra (Reflecting) who found it from Friday Fill-Ins. I can't resist playing along, so here are my answers.

1. My blueprint for success includes just keep swimming.
2. Kissables were the last candy I ate.
3. The best facial moisturizer I've ever used is Mary Kay Timewise.
4. Being with people you love can be good therapy.
5. I'd like to tell you about a great book.
6. My extroversion is my strongest characteristic.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having some pirates show up at the door, tomorrow my plans include a visiting my friend in Belfast and Sunday, I want to get ready for the week ahead!

why I do this

Today was one of those days that wouldn't be obvious to the outside world as a successful day. But I think I planted some seeds that maybe, if I keep tending them, will grow into something real.

The day was chaotic. Kids were yelling-- I was yelling in response-- and everyone kept moving around. Walking in circles. Leaving the room. Going out one door, tapping on the windows, and then back in the other. One kid is working on an independent humanities course, one a science. Both need help. The four who made it in on time needed to go get breakfast first; everyone was hungry all day, including me. Some relationships have changed over the last week, so there was some anger and, later, some reconciliation. That is huge. Massive. Last week I didn't think we'd even get close to resolving things this calendar year. That alone would have made it a good day.

But we also talked about a lot of other things, in between getting work done. Saw a headline in the paper about a car accident and talked about a cousin's accident (drinking and driving) and a few other tragedies. Learned more about the local man who died from cancer this week but donated his body to research. He lived hard, but he treated these kids with respect, and they in return. One person-- even someone who 'wasted his life' according to some-- does make a difference. We all talked about the Articles of Confederation and the Great Compromise, followed by some Algebra. Talked about our work and personal values and how they'll impact future jobs. Decision making again for English class. I learned a little bit more about tracking a deer. Lots happening here. Lots.

Interwoven around it all was the election. Half my class is racist, and not afraid to say so. And so each time they say something, or joke, or let something slip out, I address it. Every time. So by the end of the day, I was asking what they were so afraid of? The immediate reaction was to deny it, but I saw the glimmer of questioning in their eyes in return: what am I afraid of? That was something no one had ever asked before.

People often comment about what I do all day, and how insane it is. I try to explain it, but I really can't. It just makes sense to me. Some days it's hard. Some days it's torture. Some days even I wonder what I think I'm doing, and how I can think, even for a minute, that I can be teaching anyone anything in this chaos. But after a day like today, I understand in my every fiber why I do this, and why I wouldn't succeed in a regular class, although I still can't put it into words. They're rough, vulgar, crude, and insensitive, but if you give them respect they'll eventually give it back. They'll consider your point of view for a split second, even if it's one that has never ever even occurred to them before. And tomorrow it might not seem so crazy.

Yup, we had a good day today. Thank God I wasn't observed, because they would have done their best to sit and be quiet and make me look good-- and we wouldn't have accomplished half as much.

hope

I am full of hope today. It took the electorate 8 long years, but finally we've learned.

Thank Heavens.

nothing like my hubby

But I had my first (maybe only?) "ohhhh" moment of election coverage: Luke Russert reporting on the youth vote. Very classy, NBC. Well done.

luckiest

So I've been reading back posts of 6yearmed, because she has a way with words. She posted about a blog of a sick little boy and, hesitantly, I checked it out. Suffice it to say I won't be a regular reader of this one, as I can't take on that kind of sorrow-- Danielle is at about my outer reaches for sadness that does not have direct impact on my life. But sometimes it is good to be reminded of just how lucky we are.

best morning of the year

Going off Daylight Savings Time is one of the great joys of my life. I love being able to stay up a bit later, knowing I can sleep in guilt free. And then the sleeping part... I just love that feeling of being enveloped by my blankets, all comfy and cozy... and knowing that I will be able to stay there until I am ready, with no feelings of regret for staying there too long. I do love this day... much, much, much more than the day that allows for this one, but that is another post for another day...